2 TABBOO
by ksjf2012
Summary: YAY! Sequal to Tabboo. I know a lot of people loved this story and i thoguth i would try for a second one. Enjoy! KOGAN!
1. Chapter 1

As soon as I open my eyes, I can see the ceiling fan slowly turning over the bed, my ears are filled with the waves crashing on the beach, and my nostrils are invaded with the fresh salt water, and sometimes even the sweet aroma of French roast coffee. Like this morning. It's what wakes me up. The scent of the ground coffee brewing. Which tells me, he's awake. I turn my head, slowly and smile seeing his bare back. He only has a pair of black boxers on, and for just waking up, it's a great sight to see. He has his knees pulled up to his chest and is watching the TV on very low volume, not to wake me up. I pulled my right hand out from under the blanket, carefully, and reached out, touching the bottom of his back, right by the two cute little dimples. He tensed up but didn't look back at me or say anything. So I turned completely and yawned putting my head on my elbow. I put my other hand out and gently traced up his spine with my fingertips. I can feel the Goosebumps starting to pop up and when I reach the middle of his spine he finally sighs out, throws the remote on the bed beside him and slowly lays back, putting his head on my hip. He yawned himself and scratched his chest. I moved my hand down his arm and pulled it up, gently lacing our fingers together. For a while we just sit in silence and watch the news. But from down the hall and out in the kitchen I can faintly hear the three little beeps form the coffee maker, signaling to us that it's ready. I yawn one last time before gently rising, making his head softly hit the bed and push the blankets back, getting out. I stretch as I glance out the big French doors open and smile. It's of course another beautiful day. "Nice butt baby." I blush, only a little and turn. He's now on his stomach staring right at me, with his legs up, crossed at the ankles. "I love when you sleep in the nude Loges." I laugh and bend over a little cupping his face and kissing him softly on the lips.

"I always sleep in the nude." I pull away and stand back up, but I don't get very far. He wrapped his long lean arms around my waist and pulled me back on the bed and tossed me on my back. He climbed over me quick and pinned my arms up above my head. "I would like some coffee, and I need to pee." He only bent down and started kissing over my neck. I sighed out and tried to get my arms out from under his grasps. "You're a little feisty this morning."

"I…" He kissed up to my chin. "Had a dream…" He kissed me softly on the lips and then pushed up, still holding my arms above my head. "About you and me. " I raised an eyebrow and he nodded. "We were in the shower together and I had dropped the bar of soap, and you took advantage of me." I chuckled and moved my legs around a bit until they got out from under him and wrapped them around his slim waist.

"I have never taken advantage of you Kendall. And…" I pushed up hard and sent us both rolling so I was on top. "I have a feeling you didn't complain." He let go of my arms and gripped my hips. I put my hands on his bare chest and started tracing designs on his soft white skin.

"No but it got me to thinking." He sat up fast and started kissing all over my chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck, making our bodies get closer together. "Let's go get naughty in the shower." I laughed and kissed into his hair. "it will be so much fun." I shook my head and sighed softly. "I hate it when you sigh. That usually means I don't get what I want." I pulled away and held his face, so we could stare into each other's eyes. I loved looking into his deep green eyes. It showed his youth, but it also showed how much we loved each other.

"I want some coffee, and I want you to cook me a big breakfast with, eggs, and bacon and toast and maybe a fresh fruit salad. And then maybe…I'll take advantage of you in the shower." He laughed and nodded, grinning like a little school girl. We both jumped out of bed and I slipped on a pair of loose fitting grey sweats. When I got out to the kitchen, Kendall had already poured me a cup of coffee and was just stirring in the milk. I walked out to the front door though and stepped out into the warm sun. I walked all the way down the front walkway and bent over grabbing the Sunday paper. I opened it up and walked slowly back up to the house looking for the movie times. As I walked back into the house I heard the home phone ringing and looked up to see Kendall reaching for it. "Leave it. It's my manager." He turned to me and nodded going back to the coffee. When I walked up to the counter I glanced at the caller ID and sure enough it said my managers name and number. I sighed and threw down the paper opening up to the comic section.

"Why are you ignoring him?" He pressed right behind me and put his hands outside my body and set his chin on my shoulder. I tried reading through the first comic, Garfield, but his hands moved to my body and started pushing his fingers into the waist band of my sweats.

"I'm not…ignoring him. I just…don't want to deal with him right now." He pushed away from me and I turned watching him walk to the fridge. "He wants me to go on one smaller book tour." He had the fridge door covering his body but I knew he wasn't going to be happy about this. "He wants me to do a few singings and that's it." He started moving some stuff around in the fridge and I pulled myself up on the counter. "I already told him I was home for good so I could start writing again but…"

"Because he practically fucking owns you he can make you do whatever you want." I watched him slam the fridge door and he walked to the stove tossing the package of bacon the counter along with the eggs and butter. He grabbed a small bowl and started cracking eggs in it.

"Can you please drop the attitude and listen? I already told him no Kendall."

"Like that will stop him…" He mumbled it under his breath and I crossed my arms over my chest staring at him. He glanced over at me but looked back down grabbing the whisk and started mixing the eggs. "Sorry I'm a little bitter about having my whole life tossed around because my fiancé got a book deal and became a celebrity that I never get to see." I clenched my jaw tight and looked down. "I started school three weeks ago and where were you? And where were you when we moved into this house together? I had to do it myself, with the help of our friends because your manager thought you should extend your tour." A wave of guilt crashed on top of me and I looked up. He was looking at me and looked so sad. "What happened to that guy I fell in love with, who would have never let someone like, Bob your manager control your life? When did you let all this go to your head?"

"Kendall! I told him no!" He continued to stare at me and I got off the counter. "Look, I am sorry I missed things in our life, and I'm sorry you think I've changed, but this is what I've wanted for so long. I've just wanted to be a writer and live by the beach and…" I motioned around and he nodded.

"Yeah I see that. You've got everything you wanted right?" He raised his eyebrows and started walking towards me. "Well then I am really happy for you babe." He threw the dish towel he was using on the counter and walked out, past me back into the room. The door slammed shut hard and I jumped closing my eyes.

How could I have been so blind to his pain and the neglect I was putting on him? Was I even doing that, or was he just being dramatic? I opened my eyes and looked around the house. I did have everything I wanted. The physical anyway. I had my fancy expensive house on the beach. I had everything in this house that I could ever want. Most importantly I had Kendall in this house. I had given him everything. Sure, we weren't in New Haven anymore. And sure, he had to move away from the normal life of being a college student, but at least he was in a school that he could actually learn strictly about music and the music business. That's what he wanted and he got it. Why was I being crucified for having my dreams come true?

I pushed off the counter and walked into the living room, which was dark and uninviting. I walked to the glass doors leading out onto the deck, and pulled the curtains back. The sun burst on me and the whole house in warmth and light. I sighed and walked slowly to the couch. Before I could sit down something shinny caught my eye. I looked over at the TV and underneath on the wall on a shelf was a few picture frames. I smiled to myself and walked over to them. The one in the middle is what caught my eye. It was of me and Kendall and what was so special about it, was it was taken at James and Carlos's wedding. Seconds after I asked him to marry me. We were both wearing the biggest smiles and if I recall correctly about that night, it's a little foggy form the alcohol intake, we made some serious love that made both of us realize that we couldn't live without each other. Thinking back, at this time, for myself, I would have given anything to make him smile and to prove to him that I loved him. I wasn't doing that anymore, was I? I turned and slowly made my way out of the living room, and walked down the dark hall. I stopped in front of the closed bedroom door and rested my forehead on the wood as I listened to the soft sound of his guitar. I pushed the door open quietly and stood in the frame. He was out on the deck still only in his boxers, with his guitar in his lap. In front of him on the small table was a binder full of music sheets and loose leaf papers covered in lyrics. I wanted so desperately to read what he was writing about but he was so secretive. It was cute, but I had to know if it was good or bad things he was feeling. "What's the matter? Get all alone in this big stupid house without me?"

"I deserve that." He stopped playing and set the guitar on the table, covering the paper. He turned and looked back at me. "I'm sorry." He leaned back and rested against the arm rest, still looking at me. "Do you ever wish we hadn't done all this?"

"I would never want you to not have something Logan."

"That doesn't answer my question." He only stared at me and I walked into the room. I went right to the doors and leaned against the frame staring down at him. "Do you regret this?"

"NO." He didn't even skip a beat and I felt a little better, but it didn't really help. "Do you regret it?" I was more hesitant and for some reason it made him chuckle. I clenched my jaw and tried to find the answer which was no, but it wouldn't come up. He stood up from his seat and started [acing in front of me. "Ever since you got back from your awesome book tour you have been nothing but distant and completely different."

"What do you want form me Kendall? Help me out here, because I don't think I've been doing anything wrong!" He stopped and walked right up to me.

"Fine you want some help?" I raised my eyebrows and stared right up into his eyes as he roughly pushed into me. I felt something hard hit my chest and I glanced down and quickly grabbed it before it hit the floor. I felt my mouth fall open and I turned up to see him walking into the bedroom.

"You want to get married right now?"

"No Logan I want to wait another year." He walked into the bathroom and turned the sink on full blast. He grabbed his shaving cream and started putting it over his chin.

"What the hell is that supposed to me?" He turned to me and smiled.

"You remember that bullshit speech you gave me about how you didn't want to be away from me, and wanted to always be with me? And then you dropped down to one knee and proposed to me? What happened after that? We made plans to have a small low key wedding as soon as the school year ended. What happened?" I remained quiet and tried to make myself as small as possible. "Oh I know! Someone became a big shot author and forgot about all the little people below him, including his fiancé." I closed my eyes and turned my head away from him.

"Kendall…I'm sorry."

"I don't believe you." I reopened my eyes and watched him shave. He remained silent up until he wiped his face clean dried it and then turned to me. "What can I do to make you happy with me?"

"I am happy with you."

"Why am I having a hard time believing you Logan?" When I didn't say anything, I guess he took it as a sign that I didn't care to answer so he walked right past me. And I let him. But I turned quick, to make sure he didn't start packing his bags and leave me. He didn't. He walked to the bed and picked up his watch slipping it on. I still held onto the ring he pushed into me and figured I might as well try to make this right. I dropped down to one knee and held the ring up, high and sighed out. He turned and reached down for the remote on the bed, when he saw me. He stopped but shook his head. "What are you doing Logan?"

"Proving to you that I love you and I want to be with you. If it means that I have to propose all over again, and we get married tomorrow I will. I don't want to lose you because I was a jackass. I know how that feels to be treated like this and I am sorry Kendall. I can't go back and rewrite what I did, but I can try to make it better and I will do whatever you want me to." He stood up and walked over to me, getting down on both knees and grabbing my face, holding it gently. "I am so sorry Kendall." He pulled me in and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and threw my arms around his neck.

"Don't think you're getting off easy. It has sucked living out in L.A. by myself, and it has sucked mentally planning a wedding I didn't think was going to happen."

"I'll plan everything if you want." He chuckled and shook his head but we never pulled apart from our hug.

"I don't want either of us to do it alone. I want us to go back to what we were. You being my professor, afraid to even touch me because it was so wrong, and for me to be afraid of not matching up to your ex. I don't want to lose the reason why were together." I dug my face in his neck and inhaled his scent. "I want to stay Logan and Kendall forever, no matter how much money you make, or how young I will always be. Don't change us just because everything seems new and scary. I will always be there for you and I know you will always be there for me."

"I will." He pulled me in tighter making me sit on his lap practically. "I love you Kendall."

"I love you too Logan. No matter how many times you pull the whole diva thing on me." I pushed away and tried my best to look applaud. He only chuckled and rubbed under my eye with his thumb. "I won't give up on you." I leaned in fast, stealing his lips in a heavy kiss.

**YAY! SEQULE TO TABBOO! I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD ACTUALLY DO ONE BUT, I HAVE A PRETTY COOL IDEA FOR THIS ONE. IT'S GOING TO BE WAY DRAMATIC AND PROBABLY KIND OF NAUGHTY, SO PREPARE. HOPE YOU ENJOY!**


	2. Chapter 2: On Impact

My last thought before falling asleep was his hands all over my body. They were warm, soft and so relaxing. The hot water and the rose pedal in the water also helped, but just being in his arms was enough. We, mostly him, decided to take a bath together. He went to the store first to get the roses and a bottle of champagne and even went an extra mile to get a big box of chocolates. The bottle was half gone and the chocolates were completely gone and I fell asleep right in his embrace. I don't think he cared, because he slowly traced up and down my spine as I rested my head on his chest and laid between his raised legs. Before he became a writer, well a famous one, we used to take baths together all the time. It was our thing. Sometimes it would get so stressful being us, the infamous couple who met in class. One being the teacher, and one being the student. It would get to us sometimes and the only escape would be these baths. But once he got so busy with everything that I didn't get these bath times. Thankfully, he knew exactly how to win me back over, and here we were. I don't know how long I was asleep but I woke with a start when a soft ring, rang in the back of my head. I opened my eyes and raised my head turning to face out of the bathroom. I heard a soft chuckle and turned back to see Logan looking down at me. He raised a hand and ran it through my hair and sighed. "It's alright. Just the phone. Go back to sleep baby." I yawned out and put my head back down but didn't close my eyes. "I've missed this Kendall."

"Me too handsome. It is so nice in here. Especially because this tub is about ten times bigger then the one back at our old place." He hummed in response and I raised up again. I got up on my knees and backed up a little. He lowered his legs and put both arms up on the sides of the tubs. "How long have we been in here? "

"Only about 45 minutes. Were wrinkly." I raised my hands and saw the wrinkles covering my fingertips. I sat back and yawned again. "You look so damn cute right now babe." I smiled and blushed, leaning down to him and gently kissed onto his lips. But that wasn't enough for him. He grabbed the back of my neck fast, and pulled em down hard, making me crash into him and pushing our bodies tight against each other. I heard some water splash out onto the bathroom floor but I honestly didn't care. We kissed, hard, and rough, but only for about ten seconds. He pushed me back a little but still held me. "I want you to do whatever you want to." I felt my cock slightly twitch as it grew. "And what I feel on my leg I can tell you like the idea a whole lot."

"You know sex without love has no meaning handsome." He chuckled and ran his hand through the back of my hair on my neck.

"First of all, you are still growing as we speak. The thought of you being able to use me at your will turns you on, don't deny it. Second if it means that much to you tell em you love me while you do it." He flashed me a wide, winning smile. I started to bend down and his smile faded, pouted his lips waiting for my kiss, that never came. I got to his collar bone and bit down hard. He gasped out slightly and both hands moved to my shoulders. "Kitty don't play nice." I chuckled against his skin and quickly moved my hands under his thighs, and lifted. On instinct his hands went to my neck and he moved them so his arms wrapped around my neck. I raised him fast, with no effort, and he wrapped his legs around my waist. I sat up fast, on my knees still in the tub and forced him to kiss me. Hard, again. He moaned into my mouth and I started to rise up to a standing position. When I got to my feet, I gently shifted him so he wasn't slouched and wrapped tight around his back. I pulled away, and stepped out of the tub, carefully. He placed, gentle and soft kisses into my hair while I waked out into the bedroom. As soon as I got to the edge of the bed and started to place him down, I heard the phone ringing, once more. I groaned out and set him on his butt and looked over to the nightstand, trying to read who it was. "Just leave it handsome…we have better things to do." He squeezed around the base of my dick and started to tug me down. The phone stopped ringing and I shrugged it off and pushed him back hard. He giggled like a school girl and put his hands outside his body. "I love it when you get feisty like this. Do bad things to me baby? I deserve it."

"I can't do that. I don't think…" I hovered over him and kissed his forehead, gently. "I could ever do anything bad to you." He sighed irritated under me and I rose back up, keeping my hands outside his head. "But that doesn't mean I can't fuck you silly." He once more giggled under me and lifted up on his elbows kissing over my chest. We were interrupted again, but not by the phone. This time I heard the front door push open and the familiar sound of two loud obnoxious voices. I put my head down and groaned out.

"God damn-it! Why in the hell did I give them a key?!" I sighed out and laid back putting his hands on my rib cage.

"Get rid of them." I looked down at him eyebrows raised and looked down between us. I looked back up at him and he chuckled. "Oh never mind. I'll go get rid of them. Don't do anything without me!" He sneaked out from underneath me and ran to the big dresser, slipped on a pair of boxers, some sweats, and then a grey shirt and walked out, shutting the door behind him. I groaned out hard again and flipped onto my back and laid flat looking up at the ceiling fan, slowly spinning. I breathed out and ran a hand over my face. Again for the third time since I woke up the phone rang and I had, had enough. I got up fast, and reached out for the home phone.

"Hello?" I was angry and ticked off for obvious reasons. I know it wasn't very nice but I was so pissed off at the whole situation.

"Is this Logan Mitchell?" I sat on my butt, letting my feet dangle off the side and sighed out.

"Uhm no…he's not here right now. Can I ask who this is?" I fell back, laying on my back closing my eyes. I heard laughter from out in the living room and wished Logan would hurry it up.

"This is Officer Bullock and I'm afraid…I have some bad news regarding Logan Mitchell's parents." I opened my eyes fast and sat up. "It is very important that I talk to him."

"He's busy at the moment. Can I ask what this is about?"

"I'm sorry sir this is something personal and can only be discussed with Logan and his family." I felt my stomach twist into awful knots knowing if only Logan could know, this wasn't good.

"Well I'm his fiancé if that counts…" I bit my bottom lip hoping it did and heard him whisper on the other end. When he got back on he sighed and I leaned down and rested on my knee biting on my fingernail.

"I can tell you…" He paused and I swallowed hard. "Logan Mitchell's parents were in a car accident early this morning. They were hit head on by a drunk driver. Killed on impact." I felt my heart literally stop and almost dropped the phone. "we need him to come verify them and a lawyer contacted us, in regards to their will. It is very important we talk to him as soon as possible. Do you know when he will be available?" Just as he spoke the bedroom door opened and Logan came walking in, all smiles.

"Okay baby, I don't know how they did it, but James and Carlos convinced us to go out with them tonight…Kendall? What's the matter?" He got right in front of me and I felt the chocolates and champagne coming up. "Who's on the phone?" I slowly rose form the bed and extended the phone out to him.

"It's about your parents."


	3. Chapter 3: The Enemy

"We will be landing in 5 minutes Loges." I turned to see Kendall buckling himself in not looking at me. I swallowed hard and grabbed my own seatbelt buckling it in. I returned my gaze to the window and sat back folding my hands in my lap. I tried really hard to say something to him, to let him know I need him so bad but I couldn't. He was giving me some space because I asked him for it. I didn't really want that but I didn't really know how else to handle this. The only time I have ever had to deal with a family member's death was when I was in college and my great Aunt Marie passed away from cancer. But I wasn't that close to her. Not like my parents. Just thinking about my parents made me look away from the window and clench my fists in my lap. I glanced around the small private plane and my eyes stopped on James and Carlos across from Kendall and I. They were gently holding each other's hands while Carlos read a book sitting in his lap. When I looked at James I caught him staring at me and I looked over at Kendall fast. He was looking down at the ground, and biting his nails. I saw his free hand resting on his thigh and I reached out slowly. I laced our fingers together and he looked up at me. I opened my mouth to speak but again no words came out. "I'm here Loges…" He squeezed my hand and I nodded looking back out my window.

The next hour went by without me really being there. Kendall never let go of my hand from the plane to the taxi and then to the hospital. We had to wait `a good 30 minutes before a man walked out to us and sat down across from me. "Logan Mitchell?" I felt my head nod, only once and the doctor leaned forward resting on his knees. "My name is doctor Green. How was your flight?" I stared into the doctors eyes and felt my hand squeeze. The doctor cleared his throat and shifted awkwardly. "Right…uhm we are going to need you to come back with us. I'm afraid you must come alone." My hand was squeezed again and the doctor gave a small smile. "It will only take a moment Logan." I was let go of and I stood up fast.

"Loges…" Kendall got in front of me, giving em a very worried look. I shook my head and walked past him. James stood up as I walked by and tried to grab my arm but I just followed the doctor down the hall. Each hall was filled with doctors, nurses and sick patient who all looked at me weird. But I just kept walking after the doctor, until he pushed open a door and stepped in a medium sized room and went to a cabinet. He slipped on a light green scrub and turned to me.

"Are you ready Mr. Mitchell?" I nodded and swallowed hard. I walked to him as he pushed up two swinging door and let me go first. "I'm going to show you two bodies and you can either tell me yes or no, or just a simple shake or nod your head." I followed him down a row of closed doors, which kind of looked like ovens until he stopped at the end. He looked to me and sighed out opening both doors. He pulled out two long trays, with a sheet covering each. I felt a horrible lump in my throat that was making me want to scream. When he pulled back both sheets the tears started falling onto my cheeks and rolling off, hitting my chest. "Are these your parents?" I squeezed my eyes shut and only nodded once. "Thank you Logan. You may leave." Without opening my eyes or even caring where I went, I turned and walked out of the room. When I hit the doors I opened my eyes and pushed them open practically running out. I hit the wall across the hall and turned around, sliding down it. I squeezed my eyes shut again and sobbed out loud. My mind was only seeing my parents faces, obviously drained of their life. My dad had a cut on his head, which was obvious the reason he lost his life. And my mom…her once sweet cheeky innocent face had cuts and bruises on it, that made me sick to my stomach. Some of her cuts seemed like they were from a road rash. Like her small body was thrown out of the front windshield and tossed around like a rag doll. It only made me sicker to my stomach. I let a scream rip out of my throat as I put my face in my hands and cried. Hard and loud. If I had half a mind at the moment I would have shut up, and walked out of the hospital to cry alone. But I didn't care. Another yell left my mouth as I started to imagine my parents being in a life ending car crash. It made my whole body weak, It made it hard to want to get up and walk, let alone breath.

"Loges…" His voice seemed to calm me down quite a bit but it wasn't enough, because it wasn't my parents. "Come on…let's get some air." I felt a hand, warm, big and soft touch my knee as another held the side of my head. "Baby…"I pushed up fast and hard and into his arms. He wrapped tight around me and quickly walked me out. I never opened my eyes as I heard the voices around us, probably judging me, and I never let go of him, even when I felt the cold air hit us. In fact it made me grip onto him tighter. "James…his jacket?" I pushed my face under his chin and tried to wish myself out of this. James had been the only person, beside my parents, to ever see me like this. He knew how to handle me when I was like this, but without even having to ask me what I wanted, so did Kendall. How I could have ever even considered pushing him away, phases me. "Talk when you're ready. I'm here for you." I felt something soft go over my shoulders and it warmed me instantly. It was enough to get my eyes open, but all I saw was the tan skin of Kendall's neck. It's weird but I hadn't noticed how tan he had gotten except now. It was like just seeing his skin was the comfort I was looking for. I pushed away, only an inch, just so I could look up at him. He turned his head down fast and our eyes locked. His bright green eyes blended well with the grey sky behind him. "There he is…" His hands moved up quick and wiped under my eyes. "You are not alone Logan." I nodded and clenched my jaw shut to stop a sob from escaping. "What do you need me to do?" I shook my head softly and he grabbed a hold of my head. "Silence is the enemy Loges…" I closed my eyes and couldn't hold it in any more. I le tout a gut wrenching sob and pushed back into him. "Okay…when you're ready."

I wasn't ready any time soon. We left the hospital after I got calmed down and went to the hotel. I was told I could go to my parents' house but it was way too soon and I couldn't handle that. SO Kendall and I went to our room while James and Carlos went to theirs. When we too into the room I gave Kendall a soft smile and went into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. I peeled off all of my clothes and turned the water on full blast and steaming hot before I climbed in, sat on my butt, pulled my knees up to my chest and let the water run over me. So much had happened in the last 24 hours that it was hard for me to even think straight. I couldn't get the picture of my parents out of my head, and I couldn't get the thought of Kendall slipping through my fingers out, either. All I could do was let the tears mix with the water from the shower and hope and pray I was strong enough to get through this. And if I wasn't, I hoped Kendall could be for me.

"Logan?" I raised my head blinking away the water, now cold after being in there for almost an hour and sighed to myself. "Just give me a sign that you're alright." I smiled a tiny smile at how cute he was being and got up, stretching and yawning. I shut off the water and walked to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open. Kendall's face seemed to pull my smile bigger as he glanced down at my wet naked body and quickly looked back up at my face, blushing. "Okay…good sign." I let out a small laugh but my happiness didn't last long. The darkness and dreadfulness I had been feeling since this morning was back and it made me mad. "I was going to order room service and I was wondering if you had any suggestions." I swallowed hard, my mouth dry and shrugged.

"I could use some tea right about now." He nodded and bent down kissing my cheek. Normally I would get hounded to make sure I got a good meal in, but he wasn't pushing and I loved him for it. He started walking away and I stepped out of the bathroom just a little. "Kendall?" He turned quick and raised his eyebrows at me. "I feel like…I want to tell you more often…" I sighed in defeat. "I love you and…I'm grateful to have you right now." He smiled and nodded.

"I love you too Logan Mitchell." He put a hand in his pocket and continued walking away. I remained standing still in the bathroom doorway until I heard him get on the bed and start talking about our order. I walked into the bathroom and yanked a towel off the rack and dried myself while I listened to his voice talk to the guy on the other end. When he stopped I picked up my boxers and slipped them on. I picked up my jacket, shirt, and jeans and when I shut off the light I heard his voice again. "Hey…mom it's me." I froze in my tracks and heard him breathe out kind of hard. "I…I wanted just tell you…I…I love you mom, and I miss you, and I am sorry for the things that have…happened to us. And I want to tell you that before something…if anything happened. I just…yeah? Of…of course mom. I…I would love that. Yes…I love you too mom." I squeezed around the clothes in my arms and put my head back against the wall, closing my eyes. Although I was proud of him for calling her, and trying to make things better I couldn't help but feel…betrayed. Like in some way he was shoving his mother still being alive down my throat and that he didn't care how I felt about it.

He was wrong. Silence isn't the enemy.

Everyone else is the enemy.


	4. Chapter 4: Pride

It's hard to admit defeat and it is hard to admit you are wrong. Pride is a strange thing, and it can make us say and do stupid stuff. Our own pride can hurt so many around us, and because pride works in mysterious ways, we don't realize the hurt we've caused, until it's too late.

Two days after coming to verify his dead parent's bodies, Logan was very different. He wasn't eating, which wasn't necessarily a new problem. He's always been more convinced that there are more important things to do then to eat. Like work. He also wasn't talking. Like…at all. He would nod in agreement with one of us or just walk away if he didn't want to deal with it or talk to us. I could tell he was getting sick of the constant hounding and us always asking how he was doing, but it was for his own good. Depression is common after one loses their parents, or any family member, and me being the paranoid over protective guy I am, I researched the signs of depression and the effects it can cause. None of it was good. Even after two days, I could already see 90% of the signs. Not talking, no sleep, weight loss, not eating, not being active or social, and of course the mood swings. The morning after we got here, after he went to the hospital, he pushed me away. In the literal sense. I was going to give him a hug and hold his hand but he shoved me away and locked himself in the bathroom. I get it. He must be angry, and must hate whatever God is up there for letting this happen, but this isn't how the normal Logan deals with things. This is a new, scary Logan and it worried me to the point of going to James about it. My pride hated the idea of going to his ex, but my heart was hurting for the man I loved and I wanted to help him.

The third morning of being back in Connecticut, I woke up by hearing his voice. There wasn't much but I heard it. "Hey…I need a favor. Can you go to my parents' house and start packing some stuff for me? I…I need to go see the lawyer and he said it was going to take a while to go through all the documents…thanks James…no he's not coming with me. Because I didn't ask him to. I'm fine and I'll be fine. See you later." He practically threw the phone back on the stand and sighed out hard. I slowly turned my head and opened my eyes to see his back to me. He was already dressed, ready to go. He rubbed the back of his neck and slowly stood up, stretching and yawning. He walked over to the desk by the door, picked up his wallet and cell and walked out, without even looking back. When the door slammed shut, hard and loud, I closed my eyes and forced myself to sit up. If he didn't want me to go with him and be there for him, then I was going to go with James and help that way. Normal people would be pissed and probably jealous their fiancé asked their ex to help him during this time, but I was pissed because since he got here all he's done to me is use me as a shoulder to cry on, and a punching bag to get his pain and anger out. I jumped out of bed just at thought and walked to my bag. I pulled out a pair of black jeans, slipped them on, a plain white shirt and then black socks. When I got my shoes on and went pee, brushed my teeth and my hair, I grabbed a sweater, the room key, my wallet and my phone and left the hotel room. Instead of going left to the elevators, I went right to Carlos and James's room.

I knocked three times and leaned against the frame trying to keep my cool. I heard a soft laugh and then footsteps before the locks were clicked out of place and the door was pulled open to reveal my best friend. "We've been expecting you. Come on in and have a cup of coffee you look like you need it." Carlos moved out of the way and I stepped in walking right to the small table in the corner where James was sitting at. He of course was shirtless with a pair of black sweat pants on and nothing else. I sighed out hard before sitting down across form him and looked at him, eyebrows raised. He was looking at his phone, reading something and didn't notice me until Carlos pushed him back slightly sat on his lap and put down three mugs full of black coffee and a small bottle of French Vanilla crème. "How's Logan?" Carlos slid over a mug to me and I looked down at it shrugging my shoulders.

"He's mourning." Without any hesitation, James moved Carlos around on his lap so he could look at me and sighed.

"Is he being an asshole?" Carlos gently slapped his chest as he sipped his coffee and James shook his head. "I believe I know how that idiot works Carlos. I know this is fucking with his head and if I didn't know any better, he's taking it out on you." I slowly poured in some crème and nodded. "Typical Logan Mitchell. I'm sorry Kendall, I wish I knew how to fix him but he's got to do that on his own."

"He's not even asking for my help James. He actually called you before he even told me he was going to see the lawyer today. I feel stuck and I feel worthless to him. It's driving me insane James." He leaned forward, making Carlos's arm wrap around the back of his neck as James started to fix his own coffee. I noticed just then, how incredibly cute they are. They way Carlos watched James's every move, and how James held onto him around his waist. They were so gentle with each other, like one wrong move and the other would break into a million pieces. It almost made me mad because I didn't have someone to be like that, but when I watched James sit back, coffee in one hand Carlos's hip in the other and then them stare at each other, it made me happy. Carlos reached with his other hand to hold his face, and slowly bent down to kiss his lips. They both closed their eyes and the kiss was nothing more than a soft sweet peck of the lips that made my heart ache. When they pulled away, I looked down quick and raised my cup acting like I wasn't just being creepy and watching them.

"So I take it, you came here, dressed and ready, because you want to help me?" I looked back over at him and nodded. James sighed took a sip of coffee and gently patted Carlos. "Okay. Let me get ready and we'll go." Carlos stood up and let James get off the chair. When he walked into the bathroom and shut the door Carlos sat down and pulled a leg up to his chest. He sipped at his coffee quietly and I sat back smiling at him. He slowly put the cup down and raised an eyebrow at me, swallowing.

"What Kendall?" I laughed and shook my head.

"Nothing buddy…I'm just happy for you." He grinned instantly from ear to ear and I chuckled again.

"I'm happy for you too Kendall." I rolled my eyes and kicked my feet out, finding it very difficult to feel any kind of happiness. "I know the situation is shit, and I know you think that this is forever but it will get better, and eventually he will go back to that quirky nerdy guy you fell in love with. The situation is only as bad as you make it seem." I remained still and quiet and he leaned forward slightly still smiling small. "He needs you right now Kendall. If he doesn't say it, he's trying to act tough. And if he says he doesn't need your help, he's lying. What he needs right now is a guy who will go without question and be his Knight in Shining Armor." He made sense but it just wasn't that easy.

James rented a car the night we got here and he drove us through this strange new town, all the way to Logan's parents' house. I felt weird because Logan didn't know I was going to help, and I was worried because Logan was somewhere out there, all by himself dealing with his parents will. I saw how he reacted after seeing them, hell even hearing about it. So to think he would be okay hearing what his parents left him would probably send him over the edge again.

We stopped in front of a medium sized suburban two story house at the end of a very quiet and small neighborhood. I got out almost instantly but stopped realizing James wasn't out of the car. I bent down and stared in at him form my window and all he gave me was a small smile, and got out just as quick. "Sorry…this is a little hard." He locked the car and we walked side by side up to the front door. Everything about this house screamed the Mitchells and it made me wish that at some point in our relationship, Logan and suggested we go see his parents, so I could get to know them better. No one knew the Mitchell's quite like James did and as he kneeled down, grabbing an extra key hidden under the pot in the corner. When he stood back up, and reached out, ready to put the key in the hole, I noticed, how bad he was shaking. I had never seen James so upset like this, while at the same time, trying to act tough. I reached out, and gently squeezed his shoulder. He turned to me quick and I saw a tear fall out of his left eye. "They were more like my parents then my own. I…the last time I was here I asked Logan's dad to forgive me for hurting his son. He never did." He looked down at the ground and lowered the key. "He told me the second I deceived Logan and thought it wasn't going to matter, was the second he sot every ounce of respect for me and no matter what I did, I could never gain it back. That man made me feel like the biggest piece of shit on the planet and at the time I hated him for it." He let another tear fall and I squeezed his shoulder again. "I don't know why it was easier for his mom to forgive me, but even after Logan and I made up, and we moved on, that man still hated me. And to this day, I never told him I was sorry." He looked back at me and shook his head, shrugged his shoulders. "Now I never will be able to." He again raised his hand and shoved the key in and pushed the door open.

I stepped inside, standing right behind James who was trying to wipe away the tears. The house was quiet and dark, but mostly it was empty. No love, no laughter and no family. It was gut wrenching to see the pictures of the three of them, and then a few of just Logan. I didn't think I could do this. Actually I knew I couldn't do this. "Let's do Logan's old room first. He'll want some stuff." James pulled his jacket off and threw it on the couch as he walked by and headed to the stairs. I sighed out softly took my own jacket and followed behind him.

5 hours later we had almost all of his room packed up and we had started on his parent's room. We remained relatively quiet throughout the process, not really knowing what to say. And when we both saw the copy of Logan's booked signed "with love to my parents" we knew we had done enough for the day. We would come back tomorrow, hopefully with the help of Logan. James only put one box that he had packed himself in the car and we drove off, again in silence. I didn't know how Logan was going to react with everything, but I didn't care anymore. I was going to be his knight in shining armor and if he didn't like it, I would find a way to make him.

However, nothing could prepare me for what happened when we got up to our floor and stepped out of the elevator. We turned down the hall and the first thing I noticed was the person sitting by our hotel room door. I knew it was Logan because he was wearing one of my sweaters. He must of heard us walking because he looked up, turned to us and smiled. But as soon as he saw the box in James hand, and then looked to me, the smile faded and he pushed himself up. I noticed then he had papers in his lap that he was reading through and he gripped them in his hand. "Hey…I brought you a box of stuff I thought you might want right now."

"You went?" He was staring dead at me and I stopped in front of him and nodded. "Why?"

"I thought I would help James."

"Well don't." The hallway went quiet and he glared up at me. "I didn't ask you to, because I didn't want you there." My mouth went dry and he shook his head. "Who the hell do you think you are? You had no right to go there Kendall."

"What's the big deal? I wanted to help Logan and you're not telling me any other way to do that." I heard a door open a few feet away but didn't take my eyes off Logan. "The whole time we have been here I have done nothing but try to be there for you, but once again you're pushing me away. Why Logan?"

"I didn't ask you to do that for me because I wanted you here when I got back. I wanted to be able to come into this room and lay in your arms while you told me it would be okay. And when I got back you weren't here, so I figured you were doing something for me, but not this." He pointed to the box in James hand and I saw Carlos appear behind Logan, looking wide eyed. "This isn't any of your business Kendall." I don't know why but that really struck a nerve with me. My fiancés life wasn't my business. I stepped back and he shook his head. "I don't need anything from you okay? So stop trying." He let the papers fall from his hands and he roughly pushed between James and I. He was almost to the elevators when he stopped and turned. "And do me another favor. Go back to L.A. with you mom and your dad, and your little sister. I don't need you here."


	5. Chapter 5: Where We Going?

"Logan stop…" I hit the button to go down hard and clenched my jaw. "You are being ridiculous."

"James I don't want to hear it. I just want to be alone." I was turned and I looked up at James's face but shoved him off and turned back to the elevator just as it dinged open. When I stepped in, I pushed for the lobby and stared at James. "I just want to be alone." The doors closed and he didn't even try to stop me anymore which I was grateful for. I stepped back until I hit the wall and put my head down rubbing my eyes. "My head was swarming, and my whole body felt seconds away from collapsing. I didn't freak out over nothing. I didn't want Kendall there, plain and simple. He didn't need to be there, because that wasn't his life. It was mine and I didn't want him to see it. He didn't need to see what kind of house I grew up in, or what posters I ha don my wall. That was my past and he was my future. When I heard the doors ding open, I stepped out and quickly made my way over to the bar that was sort of in the middle of the huge first floor. I don't usually turn to liquor for my problems but a shot of Jack sounded really good. I pushed through people not even caring if I hit them or made them drop something. I just tried to get there as soon as possible. When I found an empty bar stool a few feet away I sighed in relief and practically ran to it. As soon as I sat down the bartender looked to me and I smiled big. "Can I have a shot of Jack?" He nodded and quickly went to work on getting it for me. The bar was basically empty except for a pretty blonde lady sitting at the end. I glanced at her, and she smiled and waved at me so I looked away. I had my shot glass in front of me and I quickly lifted it, and tipped back closing my eyes. As soon as the glass hit the wood the bartender raised his eyebrows at em and I nodded. He grinned and grabbed the bottle and walked over to me.

"Sorry about your parents. This is on the house." He poured more into my tiny shot glass and I looked down smiling.

"How do you know who I am?" He went away for a second but came back and set my book down in front of me next to my glass. I looked up and he smiled.

"I am a fan. And I heard about your parents last night on the news. I am sorry." I shook my head and drank my next shot. "I would ask you why your down here but I can tell you're not in a good mood." I laughed and set the glass back down.

"Just a stupid, pointless fight with my fiancé." He nodded and leaned back crossing his arms over his chest.

"You know…it's like in the bartender code to talk people through their problems." I grinned up at him and saw an equally bigger grin shinning down at me. I took a moment to look this guy up and down, and thought he was actually attractive. He had dark short brown hair, gelled up in the front. He was tan, not as tan as Kendall but tan. He was also really tall and seemed fit and looked buff. If I had a few more drinks in me, I would have probably asked him for his number, regardless of the guy upstairs who was wearing the ring I gave him. "See something interesting?" I glanced up at his face and blushed but smiled.

"Sorry…I'm kind of a light weight." I raised my empty glass and he pushed off the back bar, and grabbed a bottle of water out from under the bar. He set it next to my empty glass and leaned forward on the bar getting closer to me. "You know most guys would take advantage of that." He laughed and put his head down shaking it.

"I am not like most guys Logan." I grabbed onto my water bottle and twisted it open. "And no matter how drunk a really cute guy gets, if I know he's engaged…I won't do anything." I took a big swing of my water and squeezed my eyes shut. "If I may, can I ask why you aren't with him and down here, drinking your sorrows away." I put my bottle down but continued to keep my eyes closed. "Running away from it won't help."

"Yeah I know…" I slowly opened my eyes to see him staring at me with sad eyes. "It's hard to let him in. It's hard for me to think he's being sincere."

"The age difference?" I laughed and nodded.

"I guess that's why I asked James for help…he knew my parents. My parents liked him. Not to say my parents didn't like Kendall but…he's only 21 years old with both his parents still. And besides that…he just wants an excuse to tell me how to feel or what I should be doing." He nodded letting me know he was listening. He slightly shrugged his shoulders and got closer to me.

"So why are you with a guy like that?" My mouth went dry as it fell open and he shook his head. "I know…" He quickly raised the book and shook it in my face. "You love him. You've said it to yourself over and over." He put the book back down and stood up straight. "But how could you still want to be with someone who doesn't understand you?" A million thoughts ran through my head to tell him why I was with Kendall but none of them came out. "Or maybe you think he's trying to be bossy or pushy because you want an excuse to not get your hopes up that he'll never leave you or hurt you, like James." The more he talked the more he made sense but I still couldn't find words to say. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said anything. It's not my place." He picked up a rag and started wiping down the bar beside me.

"The worst part?" He looked up at me, cheeks red form embarrassment. "You're right." He put the rag down and I looked away shaking my head. "God…can I get a strong drink?" I looked over at him and he sighed but walked down the bar grabbing a bottle of Bailey's, Guinness and a bottle of Whiskey. He poured the bottle of Guinness into a tall glass, then filled a shot glass full of the whiskey. I didn't know what he was making but when he filled another shot glass full of Bailey's and just dropped it in the glass already full of liquor I knew I was about to get fucked up.

"This is an Irish Car Bomb. Enjoy." He gave me a cheeky grin and set it in front of me. "One of these drinks can make you gone in a few minutes, especially since you've already had a few shots." I swallowed hard and picked up the glass. "Don't yell at me when you have a horrible hangover." I smiled and put the glass to my lips. "And make sure you have some food in your stomach." He backed away still staring at me as I took the first sip. He laughed and turned completely going to the lady at the end of the bar. I let the harsh and bitter liquid run down my throat as I watched him take the lady's empty glass. I felt odd looking at him, because like always I had Kendall on my mind, and staring at this guy made me feel bad. All the things I told Kendall, like to pack up and leave was out of pure sadness. But I said them and I can't take them back now. And if I could take them back, I don't think I would. I'm upset, and my head is in a dark place. What has happened has happened and I can't do anything to change it.

The funny thing about alcohol is if you don't watch the clock, and you keep drinking, you end up fucked up to the point of not being able to speak properly at 12 midnight. I probably looked really sad sitting by myself drinking one drink after the next but I didn't really give a shit at that point. "Come on Logan." I felt a hand on my back and hot breath on my neck.

"I'm fine…I'm fine Kendall." I heard a different laugh and quickly turned, almost falling off the stool and saw the bartender. "Hey…it's you! You've been giving me all the best of the drinks!" He nodded and wrapped an arm around my waist and wrapped one of my arms around his neck.

"Where's your room Logan?" I wrapped my other arm around his slim but fit waist and closed my eyes, inhaling his scent.

"What's your name?"

"Robert…what floor are you on?" I giggled into his warm body and shrugged my shoulders. "Great…then I'm going to check at the front desk."

"I like that name…Robert…you know…oh who was that actor guy who had the name of Robert?"

"Uhm…I'm going to take a guess here…Robert Redford?" I laughed louder and opened my eyes. We were a few feet from the front desk and suddenly, the walking and the thinking got to me and I felt sick to my stomach.

"I need to use the restroom…I'm gonna barf." We turned quick and he picked up the speed. When he pushed the bathroom door open, a man was walking out, but I pushed him out of the way making him run into the back wall.

"Hey watch it dickhead."

"Back off." I hit the bathroom door stall open and fell to my knees. I put my face in front of it bowl and heaved out. I squeezed my eyes shut and let the sound of my vomit hit the toilet water. "You didn't eat anything did you?" I groaned out and shook my head raising my hand and flipping him off. He laughed over me. "Should I call someone for you?" I rose my head and pushed back falling against the wall of the stall. I raised a knee up and put my head back breathing out hard and closed my eyes. "You look super sexy with vomit on your chin." I opened my eyes and saw him leaning against the bathroom stall door both hands in his pockets, smiling down at me.

"Why would you help me?" He laughed and looked away shrugged his shoulders.

"It's half my fault don't you think?" I smiled and he looked back down at me. "Think you could tell me your hotel room?" I swallowed hard, just thinking about Kendall and felt even worse. What if he wasn't there when I got back? I shook my head and tried to find a way to not go back any time soon. I looked back up at him and he raised his eyebrows. I noticed how beautiful and dark brown they were. They made my stomach flutter.

"Actually…I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere…with me?" He stood up straight and took his hands out of his pockets. "Don't try to pull this bullshit with me that I'm engaged and it would be wrong. Just…go with me? Anywhere? And don't think about the repercussions." He swallowed hard and fro a split second I was sure he was going to say no and tell me to go to my hotel room. But he put his hand out to me and smiled small.

"Where we going?"


	6. Chapter 6: Don't

I remember being told, when I was a kid, and then as I got older the same, that between 3 and 3:30 am, is the Devil's bewitching hour. And if you wake up at that time, for no reason it's because an evil spirit is in your presence. Now I'm not really all that religious but I'm starting to believe it might actually be true. Or maybe it was my fiancé stumbling into the hotel room at 3:07 am. I sat up quick and stared at him through the darkness. He closed the door softly and sighed out, turning to me. He jumped slightly seeing me sitting up in bed, and I yawned, rubbing my hand over my face.

"Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah." He nodded and slowly walked over to the bed. He pulled off his sweater and threw it on the bottom. He then sat pretty close to me, and when he turned to me, I almost lost it. He had a dark hickey on his once pale and perfect skin. But that wasn't the real kicker. He reeked of alcohol.

"I am sorry Kendall." I sat back a bit and folded my hands in my lap. "If you haven't noticed this before now, I really suck at handling horrible situations." I looked down and tried to keep my anger down, but I didn't know how well that was going to go. "I took something out on you, that you had nothing to do with, and for that, I did something dumb." He went silent and I dared to glance up at him. He was looking right at me, and all I could see was the hickey. My stomach started to turn and he reached out for my hand. I didn't want him to even touch me, but I didn't trust myself to move. "I got drunk, and I met a guy who started talking to me and the next thing I know…"

"Logan…please stop." We locked eyes and he scooted closer grabbing both my hands.

"I didn't have sex with him if that's what you're worried about." I tried to swallow but my throat was so dry it actually hurt. "We just went out, and he…well…" He looked down and let go of one of my hands. His hand went to his neck and covered up the small bruise. "I didn't do it because I don't love you." He turned to look up at me just as a tear fell out of my left eye. He watched it hit the blanket and then returned his look up to me. "I'm not giving you an excuse Kendall. I just need you to know that I did it because I am afraid I'll lose you too." With that I yanked my hand out of his and pushed away from him. I kicked the blankets off and got out of bed, walking directly to my bag by the small closet. "Kendall?" I ignored him and dug through my bag trying to find jeans and a clean shirt. All I had on was a pair of boxers and a plain grey shirt and that wouldn't be enough to get through security at the airport. "Will you please say something?" I froze and stared up at the wall in front of me.

"You asked me to leave, did you not?" I turned fast and saw him look down at the ground. "That's what I'm doing Logan."

"Will you just hear me out?" I turned completely and walked over to him, getting right in front of him.

"Hear you out?" He looked up at me and at one time I would have fallen for the sad eyes and the pouty lips. But not now. "Logan…I spent the day at your parents' house going through your life with your ex…" He stood up fast and looked accusingly at me.

"I never asked you to do that Kendall!"

"Yeah that's my second point! Why I can't I be here for you? Why would you call James?! I'm your fiancé Logan and I care a hell of a lot about you. I love you, everything about you, but if you don't want em to be a part of your early life before me then what the hell is the point of us?" He looked away to the side, but I wasn't going to let him get away that easy. I grabbed his face, softly, and made him look up at me. "I could have forgiven you for ignoring me for the past three days. I could have even forgiven you for yelling at em for helping you out but this…" I thumbed over the sensitive colored skin on his neck. "I can't." I let go of him and walked back over to my bag and kneeled down, digging through it to try to find something to wear.

"I don't know how to deal with this Kendall! I don't know how to look at you and not fear that one day you'll leave me like James did or like my parents. I love you and I can't lose you."

"You already did Logan."

"Stop acting like a child." I stood up fast, and turned to him, fuming. He quickly wiped under his eye and I shook my head pointing a finger at him.

"That is what it will always boil down to Logan. I'm still a kid in your eyes. I'm still a dumb naïve guy who you can keep around to use as entertainment. You don't care about me the way I care about you. You aren't afraid to lose me. You're afraid to be alone. It doesn't matter if it's me or the guy you let suck on your neck." He only stared at me in complete silence. "Isn't that why you went on such a long tour? Because you knew when you got back, your dumb young fiancé would be there?"

"Kendall that's not it at all!"

"I don't believe you Logan!" We both went quiet and my shoulders rose and fell hard with my rapid breathing. "You told me from the beginning I deserved a guy my own age. Why?" he took a step towards me and poked me hard in the chest.

"Because I was your professor Kendall! We were having a secret relationship that eventually got me suspended and you too! I didn't want to ruin your college year's okay? I didn't want you to have to look back and think I could have had fun with other people instead of staying in secret with an older guy!" I pushed him away slightly.

"Just like then, you are ashamed of me, and of what we are." His posture fell slightly and I quickly wiped my eyes knowing the tears were falling down. "I am going back to L.A. and I'm going to pack my stuff and go stay with a friend. I understand you are going through a rough time right now and obviously you need time." I turned back to my bag, irritated, and just pulled out a pair of sweats.

"No…Kendall please don't…" I pulled the sweats on fast and as I bent down to grab a sweater his hands were on my arm. "Kendall please…I'm sorry." I shoved him off slightly and zipped up my bag. I walked away from it going to the desk to put my shoes on, when there were some knocks at the door. I shoved my first foot into my high top and glanced up to see Logan walking to the door, wiping his eyes. Even during a fight where I am two seconds from walking out, he would rather see who's at the door. I slammed my foot down and bent down further tying it, but still looking at the door. When he unlocked it and pulled it open I wasn't surprised to see James standing outside. I looked away fast, giving my full attention to my shoe.

"Everything okay? We heard shouting." I clenched my jaw shut and reached for my other shoe, still ignoring them. I didn't hear Logan say anything else but I didn't really need to. "What's on your neck?" I stood up fast, both shoes tied and saw Logan cover his neck fast. I scoffed and walked to my bag. As I grabbed the straps and reached for my phone and wallet on the nightstand, I was shoved very hard, making me lose my balance and fall to the floor. I hit my shoulder hard into the ground and turned fast to look up to see what happened. James was standing over me, fuming, smoke practically spewing out of his ears. "Did you do that to him?" I sat up fast my shoulder shooting in pain and saw Logan walk over and push James away from me. "Did he Logan?"

"James! It's a hickey for Christ's sake!" James's mouth fell open slightly and I glared at him trying to hold myself up while ignoring the pain in my shoulder. "Are you okay Kendall?" Logan was kneeling right next to me, trying to help me up but I shoved him off and got myself up. I went back to my bag, put my phone and wallet in my front sweater pocket and put my bag over my shoulder. "Kendall…don't go, please." I didn't turn to look at him. I didn't feel any pity in my head, heart or my soul for him. I just walked out of the room, not looking back.


	7. Chapter 7: Love Killer

_Logan Mitchell…love killer._

I had to admit, looking at my screen seeing those fours really rang true in my head. I guess, it was kind of catchy but I don't know how well it would go over with the public. Everyone sees me as a sweet, innocent guy who likes to tell the story of his life. Well I am a love killer…that's my life. I should be able to tell it without any judgment or fear of being treated different. I was told in my last therapy session, it might actually be good to write about this. About him and about my parents like this. Nothing sugar coated in bullshit to make it seem happy. It's not. I broke his heart into a million little pieces and I can't ever have him back. I destroyed him. I killed our love. I was a love killer. Of course I recall a certain time when he let another guy suck on his neck, I was all too forgiving. Maybe I shouldn't have been. Then again, he was drugged. But then again, he went to that party knowing who he was with.

I sat back in my computer chair and grabbed the glass of wine putting it to my lips. It's only been a month, and already I was facing writers block, alcoholism and severe depression. I probably should have been put in a hospital. My huge house was completely dark, and cold. I left the AC on like all the time because LA is too hot and too stupid. I put my glass back on the desk and stared at the still white screen of my laptop with only those four words up top. I honestly do believe I deserve everything I have gotten since then. Just me and my horrible stupid thoughts. Of course, just like every single day at the top of every hour my phone is ringing. Whether it's someone from my team, my manager, James, Carlos…someone is always checking up on me. I grabbed my cell and chuckled. James today. I answered it and put it to my ear but didn't say anything. If I were to be truthful, I'd say I would rather hear someone on the other end then talk to myself, like I have been doing.

"Oh so it's going to be one of those? Where you answer…but you don't talk?" I sunk a little in my chair and half closed my eyes, reaching out for my glass. "Fine…at least I know you're okay enough to answer the phone…listen you need to know something. Kendal…."

"James." I shook my head and sat up. Just hearing his beautiful name made my body tingle and my heart race. I wasn't ready for that. When someone called and left a message no one brought his name up. They knew better. But of course, James being the biggest douche in the universe did because he hates me and wants to see me in pain.

"I know Logan. It sucks hearing his name and thinking about him but this morning Carlos got a call from his mom. He was put in the hospital this morning." I swallowed hard and leaned onto the desk casually sipping my drink. "He had to get his stomach pumped. He got wrecked last night Logan. Just drink after drink at some party. And the people he was with, when he passed out, just left him on the side of the fucking road. No one knows who he was with so…" I closed my eyes and put my hand, holding the glass to my head and sighed out. "One of his kidneys almost failed but they got his stomach pumped in time. He's okay now but…I don't know Loges. He's fucked up. Carlos says all he's been doing is drinking and ignoring everyone associated with you. Much like you're doing."

"Don't start that shit James." He went quiet on the other end and I felt the tiny bit of my heart that was left, break. It hurt to hear about him like this.

"When she called Carlos this morning she asked if he would come sit with him. Of course he went. I just got off the phone with him and I guess Kendall hasn't been doing well. Drinking, partying, and not eating. The reason Carlos called me, was because he saw a few scars on his wrists." I squeezed my eyes shut tight and put my head down, almost dropping my glass. "You okay?" I felt something come out of my mouth, half between a groan and a sad sob. I heard him sigh on the other end as the first few tears fell. "I didn't know…if I should have told you or not…but…" I quickly hung up dropped my glass half full of red wine to my white carpet and threw my phone across the room. I heard it break and even saw a few pieces break off and fly in different directions. I put both elbows on the desk and set my head in my hands. I felt a soft pound starting as more tears fell. If I was my normal self, I would have been seriously panicking over the red stain on the carpet, but if I was my normal self I wouldn't have made the stain.

Just like if my life happened according to plan, I wouldn't have hurt Kendall. My parents would be alive still and when it was there time to go, they would have gone in a respectful manner, not going through their windshield of their Pontiac. "Logan?!" There were three loud bangs on my front door after her voice. The voice of the one person I was terrified to actually see. The one person I promised I would never hurt Kendall. She wasn't here to tell me she felt sorry for me, for losing my parents. She was here to yell at me for breaking her brother's heart. "Logan Hortance Mitchell I know you are in there! Open the door! I need to make sure you're okay!" I slowly rose from my seat, carefully stepping over the glass on the ground. There were more pounds on the door and I walked to the door as quickly as I could. When I got to it, I put my hand on the knob and breathed out hard. This would be the first time seeing another person in a month, and it was one who I desperately needed to see. I turned the knob slowly and pulled the door open. Katie Knight was staring on my door step, arms crossed over her chest one eyebrow raised, just like her brother. "You lose your parents; break up with him, and no call? Who the hell do you think I am Logan? You are like…my best friend and you're almost 20 years older than me. I'm depending on you to give me advice when this kind of shit happens to me and all you do is lock yourself in your house? You're so selfish Logan Mitchell!" She threw her arms down and stomped her foot before turning and storming down the walkway. I was a little confused so I followed after her and quickly grabbed her arm turning her back to me.

Now normally, most people would be shocked by the tears running down her face, but to many times before now I had seen this little girl cry and break down in front of me. It was awful especially knowing Katie is like a rock. I let go of her arm and she wiped her face looking down. She shuffled her feet and played with her fingers. "Did you hear about him?" I nodded and reached out again holding gently behind her head and pulling her in. Her arms wrapped around my body and she let out a soft sob. I closed my eyes and rested my cheek on her head. She was 16 now, and almost as tall as me, but seeing her brother, I knew she was going to keep growing. Unless she got her mom's genes. Then she would stay short. "He's such an idiot, Logan." I held her against me, letting her cry out onto my chest and lightly shook my head.

"No Katie Bug…I'm the idiot." She glanced up at me, eyes big and full of tears and pouted. "Why don't we go inside and make some coffee?" She nodded quick and led her inside, shutting and locking the door behind me.


	8. Chapter 8: Explain

"I'm not going to even say anything except that I'm glad to see you alive, with open eyes." I closed my eyes, and turned away from him. Carlos sighed softly and I gently squeezed my right hand into a fist. My head was pounding and I couldn't stop my heart from racing. I was full of guilt and pain but what was worse was knowing how disappointed everyone around me was. "You would think someone's best friend would tell that best friend he's going through some rough times and he needs some help."

"I'm fine."

"You look it." I opened my eyes and turned back to him fast. He had his arms crossed over his chest. He looked mad but he also looked tired and sad. "I'm your best friend Kendall."

"I know you are." He sat back and raised an eyebrow huffing. "What do you want from me?"

"How about an explanation? I know your mom will want one and so will James and your dad and your sister and even Logan." I felt my left hand try to squeeze but it was too weak. The IV was in my arm and the cuts were fairly new so it kind of hurt really bad. "Oh does it hurt hearing about Logan? You know what is worse? Having to hear how upset your mom is, Kendall. It's been a month and you got close to her and your family is going back to normal and just because Logan lost his parents and got drunk one night, letting a random guy suck on his neck you have to pull this shit and be selfish as fuck? You are not this guy." He pointed to my wrists and like he was scolding me a hot iron it made me feel worse. "I promised myself and James that I wouldn't yell at you and not make you feel bad but I miss my best friend." I loosened up all my muscles and let my body give up. "Jesus Kendall…what was the point of doing all this? Why was this so bad?" He scooted closer to me, sitting on the edge of his seat. It looked like he was reaching out for my hand but stopped looking to sad to be this close to me. "Please talk to me. I thought we were that close as friends that we could come to each other for this stuff." He tried against to reach for me but stopped. "Kendall…"

"I thought I was in love Los." He closed his mouth and lowered his head slightly. "Do you know how bad it hurts to feel worthless and useless to the guy you love and thought loved you back the same way?" He kept his head down and I looked away to the window where the blinds were pulled back and the sun was trying so hard to come out and shine. "I don't care anymore. Everything I've ever known is wrong and stupid. There's no point Carlos. I'm not happily married and in love with a great man who isn't ashamed of me. I wish I could tell you I feel bad for what I did or what I have been doing but I don't care. I absolutely do not care." The room was quiet and I could vaguely hear the conversations outside my room but it didn't matter. I couldn't feel more alone.

"Then I don't care." I stopped breathing and turned my head to see Carlos standing up from his seat grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair.

"What?" He looked down at me and even though I felt a lot of pain and it was hard to see straight but I could see he was close to crying.

"I said then I don't care Kendall. You don't care about your life or the people in your life then why should I care about you right? I shouldn't have come when your mom called, and I shouldn't care if you had lived or died. Why don't you just do yourself a favor then Kendall? Next time actually kill yourself." He turned fast and headed for the door not looking back. I pushed myself up,, feeling even worse now and swallowed my pride and the vomit that was surly coming up.

"Carlos…" He stopped hand on the knob but kept looking away. I felt my mouth open like I was going to say something but nothing came out. He shook his head and pulled the door open but as he was stepping out James appeared in the doorway with some flowers. James smiled big at Carlos and gently pushed him back in the room. I laid back and locked eyes with James only seeing Logan. It's been like that since I found out Logan did date him. When I saw James, I saw Logan.

"Hey kid. How you feeling?" I only shrugged and he gently put Carlos back in the chair he was in before. Carlos kept his head down and folded his hands in his lap. "I got to say you look a lot better than Logan." Carlos looked up fast to James and he sat on the edge of my bed by my feet. "Yeah I know that sounds odd because you're in the hospital but Logan hasn't been eating, he's been drinking like a freaking fish and when I went to the house it was messy which,, knowing Logan, is weird." James set the flowers gently on my lap and looked between Carlos and I. "Form what I heard when I was eavesdropping out the door…" Carlos gave him a dirty look and turned away from him. "You two think it's okay to say you don't care and act like you guys aren't best friends so what I'm going to do is hit both of you upside the head and calmly remind you guys that we are a family and right now Kendall and Logan need myself and you…" Carlos looked up to James who was giving him a stern look. "And for the moment we are going to help them and fix them. Understand?"

"You don't have to talk to me like a 5 year old James." I swallowed hard, thinking this was going to turn into a bad fight where Carlos accused James of being rude and mean and James would come back with something along the lines of "stop acting like a 5 year old" which would cause a bigger problem, but as the scene unfolded I couldn't believe my eyes. James pushed off my bed bent down in front of Carlos putting his forehead on Carlos's and gently kissing his lips. Carlos automatically melted in his touch and reached up with both hands holding his face gently. James pulled away slowly, still remaining close to him.

"He's your best friend Los. Tell him you love him and you'll be there for him and then give him a hug so we can let someone else see him." I was completely baffled when James stood up and took Carlos hand, helping him up. Carlos quickly bent down, wrapping his arms around my neck. I put my arms around his back and looked over at James. He gave a small nod to me and I nodded back as Carlos sighed in my ear.

"I'm sorry Kendall. I love you and I'm here for you." I smiled and nodded against his head. Carlos pulled away and gently rubbed my shoulder. He waited a minute before sighing softly and turning to go to the door. James pushed off my bed and started following after him.

"James?" He turned back to me and I sat up. "Is there any chance…I know it's probably unlikely but…" I sighed and put my head down, rubbing the back of my neck.

"What's up Kenny?" I looked back up, seeing both of them looking at me, with the door wide open.

"DO you think, you could try to see if Logan could come…ask…ask him for me?" A huge smile spread across James face and he raised a hand putting one finger up. He turned walking Carlos out and not a second later James reappeared holding onto someone, not wanting to walk in. James sighed and roughly pulled and for the first time in over a month I was looking at Logan. Except he didn't really look like Logan. He was skinny, pale and looked like a zombie with sunken in eyes. He was wearing a hoodie too big for him, with the hood on. When we locked eyes, he quickly pushed his hood off his head and stepped in. James patted his back and walked out, shutting the door behind him. When the door shut I was about to say something but was overtaken with the flood pouring out of my eyes. I was crying just seeing him. I was so upset with everything that had happened that finally it was hitting me, and it was his fault. I put my head back down, putting my head in my hands and squeezed my eyes shut, not making any noise. I could faintly hear footsteps and when they got really close I felt a soft hand on my shoulder, which only made me worse.

"I love you Kendall and I miss you." I looked up fast and saw he was also crying. His hand moved from my shoulder to my neck and slowly moved up to my cheek. My whole body was set on fire and I couldn't handle it anymore and pushed into him fast. I wrapped tight around him, which scared me because he was so small and skinny. But it didn't matter as much because his arms were wrapping around me and he was pushing himself up onto my bed. "I'm sorry…I didn't want to hurt you…I never wanted to lose you." I pulled him in tighter and shook my head. I couldn't make out two words to say to him to tell him I felt the same so all I did was nod into him and squeeze onto him tight.


	9. Chapter 9: Friends

"You comfortable?" I turned back to see Kendall staring at me. He nodded once and I sighed out walking to the chair beside his bed. He had to be in here for a 72 hour suicide watch after seeing the cuts on his wrists and we were only on hour 25. I could tell he hated it but it was for the best. Not that I had any room to talk.

"I don't like seeing you like this Logan." I smiled small as I sat back and looked down at his wrists which were resting on his lap as his legs dangled off the side of his bed.

"I don't like seeing you like that." I pointed to his arms and he quickly pulled his grey sweater down on his arms. I watched him closely as he reached for the glass of Pepsi on the table beside his bed. When he put it to his lips I watched him swallow a lot. I felt my own mouth go dry. He gently set his cup on his night stand again and we locked eyes. "How do you feel?" He shrugged softly and looked to the side at the rest of his room. "You know I need ask Kendall." He smiled small and I leaned forward smiling back. "Why would you do this to yourself?"

"The same reason you've locked yourself in that house and drank away your problems." He turned towards me, a stupid grin on his face. "Let's just stop for a minute Logan and be completely honest with each other. A few weeks ago we were screaming at each other, and we both said some things we regret. So let's not pretend the reason we've been torturing ourselves isn't because we can't be without each other." I sat back again and folded my hands together setting them on my lap. "You are the first guy I've been in love with Logan and I still am. I think I'll always be in love with you and I apologize for overreacting because I did. I don't want to be without you. Obviously…" He raised his hands and showed the scars. "I can't be without you at all." I looked down at my hands in my lap and really wanted to jump up and put him in my arms but I couldn't move. Something was holding me back and it was weird. He was ready to forget about all of it and come back to me but I didn't think I was ready for that yet. "So your silence is telling me I just sounded like an idiot." I chuckled and stood up, and quickly sat next to him on the bed. We glanced at each other and I couldn't help staring at his lips as I started to talk.

"I love you. Always will. But I think for both of us right now…" I glanced up and saw him staring right down at me. I slowly reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently. "We should just try to fix ourselves. Doesn't it scare you Kendall, to think that you are that dependent on someone else to be happy?" He looked away and smiled. "I know that somewhere down the road in our future, we will be together. And we'll have kids and get married and live happily ever after. You need to work out things in your life and so do I."

"Logan you are the only thing I need to work out in my life." I laughed out kind of life, and he turned to me fast and took my other hand. "Do not try to pull this bullshit where you tell me we need to stay apart to fix ourselves, okay? Because I tried do that for the past month and look where that got me. In the hospital on suicide watch. Tell me the truth Logan. Are you happy without me?" I smiled small and gently leaned into him resting my head in the nape of his neck. One of his arms quickly moved to my back and wrapped around my shoulders. I closed my eyes and he sighed laying his head on mine.

"No I'm not happy without you Kendall. But we can't go back into a relationship where we both have very obvious issues to work through. We love each other but…I mean I can't speak for you but I don't love myself as much as I love you and that worries me." He sighed again and I pushed harder into him, finally comfortable. I missed being in his arms and for a split second I was seriously considering throwing out my sensible side and taking him back. But the second passed and I opened my eyes and wrapped around him smiling into his skin. "I will have to say though…I am looking for a roommate." He chuckled and sighed out while he started to swing his legs.

"SO you reject me…and then ask me to move in with you?"

"Yes or no Kendall. Don't be a punk." I sat up pushing away from him and he nodded while smiling. "So it won't be weird?" He laughed and shook his head.

"You can't ask me to move in with you and then question the weirdness." I laughed and nodded putting my hands in my lap. "Who gets the master bedroom?" I laughed and he nudged me. "I don't want to sound pushy but I have been living out of my dad's house." I looked up to him, smile gone and I let the guilt crash over me. "It was actually nice. I got a little closer to my dad but I think he's tired of me being drunk and obnoxious all the time."

"Kendall as soon as you get out of here, you can move in with me. Seriously. I need to get some things cleaned up but I can do that in the next couple days. And you can have the master." He sighed looking away and as we both went quiet, his arm still around me, the door opened slowly and neither of us turned to see who it was. I didn't care because I was actually feeling okay. I put my head back down, onto his shoulder and sighed, content.

"When we didn't hear yelling the sent me in to make sure you guys were okay." I sat up fast, scooting away from Kendall as his mom came into view, with a bouquet of sunflowers.

"Mom I don't need any more flowers." Jennifer glared at Kendall and turned to me, smiling and extending the flowers to me.

"They are not for you sweetheart. How you doing Logan?" I swallowed hard and took the beautiful flowers form her and smiled.

"I'm doing okay." She gave me a warm friendly smile and set her bag on the table by Kendall's bed and took the seat I was sitting in. I hadn't really ever gotten to know Jennifer, but she and Kendall were doing okay, and I was going to be nice to her. She is Kendall's mom after all; I just couldn't help the awkwardness between the three of us.

"I…I need both of you to know that…even though it's hard to believe I care, I do." She turned to look at Kendall and looked like she wanted to cry. "You are my only son and my first baby. I've always wanted to tell you I've been so proud of you. You have so much courage for being who you really are. Something I've never really been able to do for myself." She breathed out softly and then turned to me. I swallowed hard and felt my heart pick up speed. "When I first met you Logan, I was…in the simplest terms, a complete bitch." She chuckle to herself but when both of us did laugh with her she cleared her throat and looked at me, serious. "I'm not one for pushing my pride to the side and saying I'm sorry but I am. If I had known how important and special you are to Kendall, I would have treated you better."

"Mom…"

"No Kendall I need to get this out to Logan okay?" I looked over at Kendall who sighed and sat back a little. I turned back to Jennifer who laughed. "Yes that is typical Kendall. Protecting the ones he loves." She gave Kendall a loving look but quickly turned back to me. "Logan…if Kendall loves you then I will welcome you into our family because you mean something to Kendall. Please accept my apology and know that I am not an evil woman. Just a scared one, who doesn't want to lose her baby to being a man and growing up." Kendall sighed, irritated beside me and I smiled small.

"You didn't need to apologize Jennifer but I accept it." She smiled big and got up quick before coming towards us and hugging around both of our necks tight.

"Oh goodness! I am so happy right now. As soon as you get out of here Kendall were going to have a dinner celebrating a happy reunion between you two and the start of our new family!" Kendall pushed her away fast and shook his head. She frowned and I felt odd.

"No mom…uhm…were not back together. Were just friends." Her face turned bright red and stepped back to her chair. "Don't…make a big deal about it okay?" She swallowed hard and glanced back at the door. I turned to look and smiled seeing James and Carlos peeking in, looking horrified.

"Wait…you guys are just friends?" James pushed in, even when Carlos tried to stop him. "You guys were just…hugging and leaning into each other. And…" He pointed between the two of us, and got next to Jennifer. "You guys are so odd!"

"James…" Carlos walked in, smiled at Jennifer and turned to us. "I'm happy you guys are at least talking. You don't have to explain anything." I nodded at him and the whole room went so quiet. Kendall shifted next to me and then chuckled softly. Before I knew it the whole room was laughing, awkwardly and finally things were starting to look up for me.


	10. Chapter 10: Max

A week of being out of the hospital and back in the house, and already I was feeling lonely. Logan and I decided to be friends until we could fix ourselves. Well that was fine when we first started. Now…I had to suffer waking up to hear him in the shower every morning. I had to watch him through the day trying to write his second book. And worst of all, I had to witness the heartache he was feeling all because I was an idiot. Well no more! I was so sick and tired of being without him, finally I was going to take care of this and get him back! I jumped off the bed in the master bedroom and stormed to the door. It was a little past midnight and we had both gone to bed. But when I got out into the hallway, I stopped walking seeing the light on in the living room. I cocked my head slightly and slowly started walking down the hall. When I got to the end, I couldn't see in the living room but I definitely heard something. It sounded like a person…Logan most likely and it sounded like he was…

"Oh…" I froze in my socks and felt my eyes widen. Logan was, moaning? Was he hurt? Or was he doing something else? "Mmmm." I peered around the corner quickly and stepped out, being as quiet as possible. When I stepped in the living room, still unseen and unheard, I saw with my very own eyes, Logan on the couch. On the coffee table in front of him was his laptop open wide. On the screen in plain sight was a very…adult scene. It was two guys and if I had to guess correctly, one was a little older than the other. The scene, in my mind looked all too familiar. I stepped closer to the couch and sure enough his hand was inside his pants moving at a slow pace. My mouth went dry as I watched him arch his back a little and grip the couch underneath him with his free hand. There was a small tug in my sweats and I looked down to see a budge forming. I swallowed hard and looked up, seeing the two guys on the screen holding onto one another while the older one, thrusted into him, hard. Logan was so into it he still had no idea of my presence. Which I was fine with. I was even considering putting my own hand down my pants and jacking off with him when Logan made another noise. "Mmmm Kendall…mmm…." I went completely still and saw Logan's head go back, with his eyes completely closed. The budge in my pants became too much and before I could stop it, my mouth opened.

"Just friends huh?" Logan jumped up fast and shut his laptop turning to me. His hand came out of his pants and he stared at me with wide eyes.

"What are you doing up Kendall?" I grinned and walked around the couch, making him back up a bit.

"I could ask you the same Logie…" He swallowed hard and I walked into him fast. He tried to back away but I moved quicker. I grabbed his arms, and pulled him into me fast. He gasped slightly feeling both of our hard-on's crash into each other and looked down.

"Kendall…stop…" I leaned down and kissed him hard. He automatically melted in my arms and kissed em back hard. I let go of his arms and they quickly moved up, wrapping my them around my neck. The sudden contact was so beautiful and overwhelming, I lost my balance and we fell back onto to the couch. I laid on my back, at a weird and awkward angle while he straddled my waist. My hands quickly found his shirt and I started pushing it up. He broke away from the kiss and tore it off. I sat up fast and attached my lips to his left nipple. He groaned out, loudly, and ran both hands through my hair. He tugged, kind of rough and lifted my face to look at him. We stared at each other as my hands moved down his back and pushed into his boxers quickly squeezing onto his ass. "Kendall…it's…so good…" He pushed into me, shoving his crotch into my stomach I groaned out and leaned back in, kissing his soft neck. He let out a little mew and I started to suck on his skin. "Kendall…it feels so good." He pushed his hips, back and forth faster making a friction between his dick and my stomach. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and squeezed his ass again. "_Mmmm Kendall…Kendall…Kendall…_"

I opened my eyes and sat up quick. I was drenched in sweat and my head was pounding. I looked around my bright and empty room. I was breathing erratically, and I was really hot. TO make matters worse, I had the biggest most painful morning wood I've ever had in my 22 years on this earth. I fell back on my pillow and shoved my hand in my boxers and pushed them off my waist. They sat around my knees and I grabbed a hold of myself. Just as I made the first stroke, I heard my door creak open an di sat up grabbing my pillow and covering my dick. A second later, Logan's face appeared, a look of concern washed over it. "Kendall?" I raised an eyebrow and he walked in, slowly. I lost my breath. He was only in a towel wrapped around his waist, hanging low. He was still a little wet form his shower and when he got closer to me I could smell his body soap. It smelt like the same kind I use. Such a turn on. "I heard…you like, moaning and I jumped out of the shower afraid you were hurt. Are you okay? You're sweating, and you look a little flustered." He sat down softly on the bed on the opposite side of me and I smiled small, swallowing.

"I'm fine…just a weird dream." He nodded and let his posture fall a little.

"Oh…like a nightmare?" We looked at each other and for a moment I thought I was going to be as brave as I was in the dream but something stopped me. There was a loud crash, almost like a piece of wood dropping outside and I jumped slightly. I heard Logan sigh and he got up walking to the French doors leading out to the balcony. "Sorry. I got a crew out here, redoing the deck and putting in a fire pit and a hot tub. They are just getting started and being loud…" He peered behind the curtain and shook his head turning back to me. He walked to the side of the bed I was on, and quickly pushed the pillow down on my still raging boner. "Are you sure you're alright?" I laughed and nodded.

"Just a dumb dream Logan. Got my heart racing, ya know?" He nodded and scratched at the back of his neck. He glanced at my bedside table and I followed his gaze.

I guess when I moved out, I only took my things, and he never got rid of anything else that was mine or was something we got together. Like the silver picture frame on the nightstand. In the frame was a picture of Logan and I. We were sitting on our old couch at our old apartment and James happened to take the picture. I was on the edge of the couch, with one armed draped over the back. Logan was sitting right next to me, practically on top of me, with his knees pulled to his chest. We were staring at each other and if I recall correctly, he was just about to tell me his book got to number one and he wanted to move to L.A. I was so freaking excited and proud of him we started to make out and get frisky with James and Carlos still in front of us. I smiled and turned back up to him. He was also staring at the picture, smiling. When he looked to me he cleared his throat and started walking to the door. "I'll start breakfast, after I dry off and change." I nodded as he left and shut the door behind him. I jumped out of bed and ran into my bathroom, completely naked and turned on the shower, straight to cold.

10 minutes later I walked rout of my room and went into the kitchen were Logan had his back to me making a pot of coffee. I sat down at the bar and sighed quietly. He turned to me and smiled big. "How was your shower?" I smiled and nodded.

"Pretty darn good." I blushed thinking about what I did in that shower and played with the salt and pepper shakers on the bar. "So…what's for breakfast?" He laughed.

"Well I was thinking of making a few omelets…you interested?" I nodded and he walked to the fridge pulling it open. "I was also thinking about going shopping today. Maybe redo the whole house." He pulled out the eggs and some tomatoes. I chuckled and swung my legs, watching him cooked. I loved watching him do everything and anything, but it was so sexy to see him cook. Especially for me.

"Why do you always have to redo things?" He laughed and bent over grabbing a frying pan. I shamelessly stared at his ass and when he got back up I looked at my hands. "I like the house the way it is."

"I know…but with the construction going outside, I got a DIY bug and I want to do the house over again." He turned to me and leaned against the counter, looking at me, hopefully. "Will you help?" He gave me a beautiful smile that I couldn't resists. I sighed and shrugged.

"I guess so." He clapped and turned back to the stove, and opened up the egg carton. I smiled and opened my mouth again to say something clever and flirty, to see if I could win him back when I heard the glass door open form the back yard and turned to see a big buff guy walking in. He had on a pair of light blue jeans, with some dirt and what looked like concrete on them. He also had a flannel shirt on but of course, it was unbuttoned and opened, showing off his perfect body. He seriously looked like a model and when he walked to the kitchen, a blue print in hand to Logan I felt a rush of jealousy.

"Hey boss!" Logan turned quick and smiled at him. The guy put the paper on the counter and Logan walked to him, looking down at it. "We just wanted to run this by you one last time. We got the final draft from the designer." Logan bent down a little and glanced over it. The guy, looked up, and started tapping a pencil on the counter. He smiled big at me and I nodded back, not impressed. I was upset, because I could see Logan stealing a glance at his abs sticking out form his shirt and blushing. Logan probably had a crush and probably got off hearing the guy call him boss. "Does it look okay?" I watched Logan stand up straight and look up the guy. He was about a foot taller than Logan and knew a tall guy was Logan's Achilles' heel.

"It looks great. I can't wait to see it finished!" He gently touched the guys bicep and I clenched my fists. The guy turned to me and quickly Logan looked between the two of us. "Oh sorry Kendall! Uhm Max this is my…" Logan paused and we caught each other's gaze. We looked at each other weird and he turned back to Max. "This is my best friend Kendall." It wasn't bad enough to hear him say it in the hospital. He had to tell this really attractive guy who I noticed staring at Logan, like he was a piece of meat. "Kendall this is Max. He worked for my manger and he is a fantastic landscaper." Max blushed and looked down grabbing the paper.

"I'm an okay landscaper." Logan chuckled and Max started walking away.

"He's also obviously very modest." Ii stared at Logan who gave me a small smile before turning back to the stove.

Be friends until we can work out our own problems. I didn't realize that meant he was going to flirt and flaunt his freedom to other guys, right in front of me.


	11. Chapter 11: Get Yourself Out

Why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he tell Max, when I told him we were just friends, that we were together just taking a break. Kendall looked mad hearing it, and he looked like he wanted to pounce on me this morning while he tried to hide his morning wood, but he didn't say anything. Why didn't he say anything! I sighed out hard, and turned fast hearing him walking out from his room. He had his shoes on, and looked ready to go, zipping up his sweater. He didn't look at me just sat on the couch next to me and sighed, bending over, tightening his shoe laces. I could hear the guys in the backyard working hard but I remained looking at Kendall before he sat up and looked to me. "You ready?" He started standing up, and I grabbed his arm, pulling him back down. He laughed and folded his hands in his laps. "Yes?" I looked away, looking up at the flat screen mounted on the wall.

"You and I have been together for almost three years Kendall. And every day has been so amazing." I looked to him and he nodded giving me an odd look. "And I know, I fucked up. I really messed up this relationship, but I don't want it to affect us right now. It's in the past and I can't change it, but I can make us better now. If that means we stop seeing each other, as a couple then we need to let it happen. No matter how." He sat back a little and I put a hand on his knee. "I know its awkward living together because we don't know how to be with each other, without actually being together but I am afraid if we are alone well go back to being idiots drinking and…" I glanced down at his arms but turned up to him fast. He nodded small and looked away. "With that being said, when a young attractive landscaper is clearly hitting on me and I tell him were just friends, to know that you still love me and might want me in the future, could you tell him you're still the one I love and want forever?" He snapped to me fast, eyebrows crushed into a sexy lien and I laughed.

"Are you kidding me?" I shook my head and he sat back completely breathing out hard. "I was so pissed Logan. That guy was staring at you like he wanted to throw you on the bar-b-q and eat you whole." I smiled wide and sat back next to him. "We may not be together but you know I have a serious jealousy problem. And besides, why didn't you tell him that? You're the one who told him were just friends." He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest and I giggled. I leaned into him, and laid my head on his shoulder. I gently took his hands in mine, and sighed.

"Because I didn't and I apologize." He snorted and I squeezed his hand. "Let's just go to home depot and look at some paint. I want to redo the living room and maybe the rooms." He sighed, sitting us both up and I turned to see him open his mouth to speak, but was cut off. The front door opened and I heard two sets of voices.

"James?" I stood up slowly, with Kendall and again eh wanted to speak but was cut off. This time by a cry. Not a cry from James or Carlos, but from…a baby. We turned to each other fast and as the front door shut, the cry turned to a small giggle and James and Carlos appeared. Carlos had one of his arms wrapped around James waist, while James was carrying a car seat. With a small baby wrapped in a blue blanket. They both looked up to us, smiles as big as Texas. My mouth dropped to the floor and James laughed walking to us and setting the car seat on the coffee table.

"Hey cutie pie! Meet your uncles!" The kid squirmed in his seat and lifted one arm out for James. James smiled and unbuckled him and lifted him up, letting his blanket fall to the ground. James turned him, carefully in his arms so the kid was looking at us. He squealed and put a fist in his mouth, chewing on It with just his gums. "Guys…this is our son. Toby. We…" James looked back at Carlos who smiled small and walked into him holding around James. "We adopted him a week ago from an orphanage. He is 20 months old and the best thing…well second best thing to ever happen to me." I smiled and walked to them, reaching out. James smiled big and quickly gave me Toby. He started to squirm turning to James who wrapped tight around Carlos, laying his head on his. I gently set Toby in my arms and turned to Kendall who was wide eyed, looking a little confused, but had a huge smile on his face.

"Who, on a sudden urge, decides to adopt a baby?" I rolled my eyes at Kendall and sat down carefully still holding onto Toby.

"Actually…" Carlos peeled away from James and walked to Kendall pushing him down on the couch and quickly squeezing in between us. "We've been planning this for a year." I turned to James who sat in my recliner and smiled watching his son in my arms. "It's a long process…adopting, but was so worth it."

"Why didn't you guys say anything to us?" James snorted and I saw Kendall give him a dirty look. "I thought we were all friends? We could have talked to you guys or something…" Carlos turned to Kendall and smiled leaning into him, yawning.

"Uhm you guys have been pretty busy with your lives, and then with what happened like a month ago…" I gently started rocking him in my arms, earning and squeal of approval as Toby tugged on my sweater strings. I looked down and smiled seeing him trying to figure out the strings that he couldn't take off me. I looked at his messy mop of black hair on his head and saw a, what I assumed to be a birth mark, right by his left ear. It was just a small little pink spot of skin that almost looked like a heart. "That birthmark Logan?" I looked up at James and He smiled. "That birthmark has kept Toby in the orphanage since he was born. They told us, no one wanted a baby with a mark on his face." I felt my heart break a little but when I looked back down, my worry and sadness was gone. Toby was trying his hardest to put the strings in his mouth and Carlos quickly took them from him, and gently tossed them over my shoulder so he couldn't get to them anymore.

"He's so cute guys…he looks and kind of acts like, you guys. Like it was supposed to you two, ya know?" I watched Carlos grin wide and turned to him, seeing Kendall giving em a weird look behind Carlos.

"Can you get me his little teddy bear James?" James, who was smiling just as big as Carlos, pulled his car seat towards him and picked up the blue blanket. He yawned, mimicking Carlos from earlier and sighed.

"It might be in the car. I need to get his baby bag anyway." James stood and quickly I turned, handing Toby to Carlos, who took him sitting back fast showing Kendall. When James started walking to the front door I followed quick and walked out to their car with him. We stopped at the back and he opened the trunk. I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling the wind starting to pick up slightly. He picked up a white bag, with little teddy bears on it and threw it over his shoulder. He was going to pick up another smaller bag but stopped seeing me staring at him. He smiled and leaned against the bumper of his car. "You have something you want to say?" I leaned against the car, getting next to him and chuckled softly.

"James…I…" I looked up at him and couldn't really find the right words to say, but nothing was coming out. I swallowed hard and shook my head, turning away from him.

"Let me guess…either you want to tell me I'm an idiot for having a baby so soon, or you want to tell me your happy for me." I didn't say anything, just turned into him, and hugged him tight. "Or you'll do that? Jesus Logan, you're a lot stronger then I remember…" I closed my eyes and held him close to me. "What's with this? What's going on?" I shook my head digging my face into his broad warm chest. "Okay…let em see I can be 1 for 2. It's a lot more awkward then you realized living with Kendall?" I nodded fast and one of his hands went to the back of my head and held me gently. "Well you're the moron who asked him to move in, and you are the one who let him walk away. It sucks Logan and it killed me to see you after you broke up with him, or he broke up with you. Whatever…my point is, you got yourself into this, and you have to get yourself out."

"That's easy for you. You just had a baby." He chuckled and it rumbled deep from his chest into my ear. "You are going to be a great dad. You probably already are…and Carlos looks so happy."

"I just wish we could get some freaking sleep. Or at least a second when he was demanding our attention 24/7. I love it, and it is so overpowering, but I just want some time…" He yawned again and I gently pulled away looking up at him.

"James…you got yourself into this…and unfortunately you can't get yourself out." He pushed em away closing his truck, after getting the second bag. "I'm just saying." He walked to the door behind the driver's side and pulled it open, pulling out a small teddy bear. He shut the door with his butt and we both walked back up to the house. When we got in, I could hear the TV on and soft talking. We walked in the living room, and Kendall and Carlos were on the floor, Toby in Carlos's lap. He was locked and loaded on the funny cartoon on the TV while Carlos and Kendall talked quietly. I sighed to myself and gently sat down next to Kendall. He turned to me, smiling and I smiled back. "You gonna stay here and babysit with Carlos?" Kendall turned to Carlos and reached out for Toby who took his hand and held it while still looking up at the screen.

"Where you guys going?" James plopped on the couch and stretched out.

"We were going to go get some stuff to redo the house. Home Depot, Lowes…that kind of stuff." I saw a light flash in James's eyes and Carlos turned back to look at him. He chuckled and raised Toby standing up.

"If Kendall and Logan don't mind, why don't you go with him James. You look like you want to." James jumped up and kissed Carlos hard and quick. Toby squeaked out trying to turn back to the TV and I looked to Kendall.

"What do you think?" Kendall smiled and leaned into me, putting his forehead on mine.

"Don't get any obnoxious colors for the house." I smiled and nodded, pushing up and stand up. "And please don't go crazy. You don't have to redo everything!" I ignored him walking to James who grabbed my arm and quickly pulled me out to the front door.


	12. Chapter 12: Kissed Me First

**Kendall's P.O.V.**

"Thanks for letting me lay him in here." I smiled and put my hands on my hips looking down at my handy work. Because Carlos and James didn't know they were going to be staying here with him for a while, they didn't bring a crib or anything for Toby to sleep in. So Carlos and I rounded up as many blankets and blankets we had in this house and made a make shift bed for him on my bed in my room. We made it high and big so if he woke up, or moved around in his sleep, there was no way he could fall and hurt himself. I turned to Carlos who was gazing down at his son and sighed gently nudging him. He snapped out of his thoughts and chuckle leading me out of the room. I shut the lights off and stepped open, leaving the door wide open. When we walked out into the living room, Carlos leaped on the couch but I stopped short seeing the guys working out in the backyard. Max was now shirtless and sweating slightly. My mouth became a little dry but I turned away fast and sat next to Carlos. He was flipping through the channels not even noticing the guys outside. My head was still buzzing from what had happened this morning and I really wanted to show Logan how much I really did love him.

"Hey Carlos?" He turned to me, eyebrows raised and I glanced outside to the back. "Go look out at the guy shirtless for me, for a minute." He put the remote down slowly, and walked to the French doors leading to the back yard. He stopped and peeked out for a minute. A second later, he inhaled a sharp breath and ran back over to me, jumping on the couch. He glared at me and pulled his legs up to my chest.

"He's not as hot as James." I chuckled and shook my head. "Why did you want me to look at him? You're not going to say anything to James are you?" I laughed and pushed him slightly. "What?"

"Listen I wasn't setting you up or anything I just…he was staring at Logan and he was flirting and it pissed me off. Long story short I…I want this guy to know who Logan is with if you catch my drift…" Carlos looked up at me and smiled small. He quickly sat up, jumped up on his knees and started bouncing like a small child.

"Oh I got it! I know how to help. Okay…what you need to do is get this guy to not think about Logan and make him want someone else." I eyed him closely. He nudged me softly and wiggled his eyebrows. "You need a hot decoy dude! Like they do in movies!" I busted out laughed and he laughed with me shaking his head. "Seriously Kendall…we should go find a hot cute guy who can distract any guy form Logan." I stopped and raised an eyebrow at him. He put a finger to his lips and started thinking hard. When he noticed me staring he sat back and frowned. "What?" I laughed and leaned closer to him poking his chest softly.

"Well, what about you?" His mouth dropped to the floor and he shoved me, making me almost fall off the couch.

"I'm married jerk! With a new baby! You're nuts! Besides…" He sat back a little a faint pink hue creeping over his cheeks. "I am not that attractive to distract a guy like that." I frowned and shook my head.

"Well you're the only option Los." I looked away and gently hit the side of my face with his left palm. I turned to him and he snorted.

"Why don't you do it?" I stopped thinking for a minute and he nodded. "It's really simple. You will…flaunt your body. Maybe take off your shirt and offer him some water. Obviously, he won't even consider Logan after seeing you, and once you have him wrapped around your finger you hit him below the waist and be done with it." I opened my mouth to protest but was stopped when the French doors opened and Max walked in, in his full glory. I was slapped gently on my stomach and he leaned into me fast. "Go now!" I stood up fast and Max walked slowly over to us.

"Hey uhm…Kendall right?" I nodded and swallowed hard walking to him. "Logan told me to help ourselves with some water. We forgot our cooler so…" I flashed a big, trying to be sexy grin and nodded.

"Here I'll help you." He nodded, smiling and when he walked past me I turned back to Carlos who gave me two big thumbs up. I swallowed hard again and quickly followed him into the kitchen. I stared, not meaning too (yeah right) at his very muscular and tan back. I hated admitting it, but by God he was sexy as hell. I walked to the fridge fast, pulled it open and felt relieved seeing a bunch of cold water bottles. I grabbed about three and turned to him. "How many?" He was leaning against the counter and when I saw him he was staring at me, around where my ass would be, turned to him. He looked up fast, a blush on his face and I kept hearing Carlos's voice in the back of my mind.

"Uhm…5." I nodded and gently set the three bottles down. When I turned back into the fridge and kept my head up and my courage up as well. "Can I ask you something?" I closed my eyes and grabbed two more bottles before turning back to face him a smile plastered on my face. I closed the door with my butt and set those bottles next to the previous three. "It seemed weird this morning, when Logan was saying you guys were only friends. Can I ask what that's about?" I swallowed hard and tried so desperately to not look at his pecks and his abs but it was so hard. I looked up fast after stealing a glance and he chuckled. I clenched my jaw and felt my smile fade.

"We were together and we were engaged but…some things happened and we decided to just be friends." I stopped and we locked eyes and he opened his mouth to say something stupid but I continued quickly. "But we aren't going to stay that way. Were just on a break." He nodded and he took a step forward making em step back.

"So on that break…does that mean you guys can see other people?" I felt my anger reach its boiling point and I blinked. I only simply blinked and it that millisecond I felt two hands on my body pulling me in, and I was softly being kissed. I opened my eyes fast and saw his closed while he kissed my closed mouth. I was frozen in place and didn't know what to do, especially when his mouth parted slightly and I felt his tongue poke my bottom lip. I gasped out, making my mouth open and my eyes closed. I don't know why I did it, but when he started to explore the inside of my mouth, I raised my hands and put them on his sides. I felt my body betraying me as I started to move my tongue around with his and we started to full on make out. Both his arms moved up my own arms slowly and they stopped on my neck where he gently held me. Quickly I moved my own arms up to his neck and wrapped around it, letting his arms move around my back. Our bodies smashed together and we ran into the fridge hard. The kiss became more erratic and sloppy as he moved his lips down to my neck and gently sucked. I squeezed my eyes shut as I ran one hand run up through his hair and let him push his body hard into mine. I gasped out when I felt a small bite to my skin and he pulled away. He looked down at me a smile on his face, his eyes full of lust and craziness as he moved in again and captured my lips once again. I don't know how he did it, but I was so completely overwhelmed with him. The way he touched me, held me and invaded my mouth with his tongue was driving me insane. I let him lift me, only a few inches off the ground, holding me tight between his body and the fridge. I vaguely remembered something about Carlos telling me about me hitting below the waist but I was drawing a blank on what happened only a few seconds ago. It was almost like I was under a spell…

"Kendall?" I was let go of fast and we both turned to the front door. Logan and James, each holding two cans of paint and some paint brushes and a few bags were stopped right in the middle of the space between the kitchen and the front door. James looked incredibly awkward and I could see Logan glaring at both of us. His mouth was open wide and I le tout a hard breath turning to see Max looking between the two of us. "What…what is?" Logan gently set his stuff down and I took a step forward but had no time to explain.

"I just came into to get my guys some water and Kendall made a move. He kissed me first Logan." I turned fast to look at him and saw him turn to me. "I tried to tell him I didn't want to come between you and him but…" he turned back to Logan and shrugged his shoulders. "He kissed me first Logan." I turned to see Logan but whished for just one minute, I was blind. He looked destroyed and so hurt. I quickly walked around the counters in the kitchen and out toward shim, but he turned quick shaking his head at me and walked down the hall disappearing. A few seconds later I heard his bedroom door slam shut and I jumped closing my eyes.

"Kendall…what the hell?" I could hear James walking towards me, but when I heard a small baby cry I opened my eyes and saw him sigh turning away and walking quickly down the hall. Carlos also appeared fast and glanced at me but when he heard his son screaming his head off, and James gently cooing to him, he walked quickly down the hall and I was left alone with Max. As much as I didn't want to, I turned to face him. He had a stupid smug grin on his face and he started to walk towards me. I squeezed my fist together hard and he stopped right in front of me.

"You are a lot cuter then I realized, and a hell of a kisser. I hope I get to find out if Logan is too." He walked away from me quickly and walked back out into the backyard.


	13. Chapter 13: Fire(d)

"He's a hypocrite and a bastard and I don't want him here anymore!" I paced back and forth, running a hand through my hair, and breathing out hard. I would occasionally glance at the two on the bed, well three. Toby was on his back on a towel getting his diapered changed while Carlos was over top of him changing said diaper. James was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing me with his hands folded neatly in his lap. "I should have never gone to see that little asshole in the hospital and I should have never even thought about letting him back into my life!" I saw James nod, both eyebrows raised and I stopped facing him, scrunching my eyes together. "What is that look? Why are you looking at me in a condescending way?" James turned back to Carlos who eyed him looking up slightly put turned back down to his squirming son. I relaxed my body a little bit and James stood up, walking to me.

"Carlos told me the only reason Kendall did what he did was because these two idiots thought if he could convince Max to not eye fuck you Kendall would have a better chance at getting your heart back. How'd he do?" I huffed out hard and felt a little better. It sounded like something he would think up but it was still irritating. "Face it Logan…you're a hot piece of ass…"

"Hey!" Carlos snapped up Toby in hands and quickly smacked the back of James head. James moved his hand quick to the back and rubbed it turning to look at him. "Language." James frowned and I chuckled watching Carlos quickly put James in his place. James sighed and stood up walking towards me.

"Max is that type of guy who sees the first hot thing and has to make him his. You my friend are a dick magnet."

"Excluding Kendall…" I peered behind James and saw Carlos rocking Toby, who had a thumb in his mouth, looking at Carlos. Carlos eyed James and raised an eyebrow. "Logan is not a dick magnet. Just for you and Max apparently." James put his hands on his hips and groaned putting his head back. "I'm just saying…right Toby? Daddies a punk sometimes huh?" Toby squeaked and kicked his feet covered in a white onsie.

"All I'm trying to say is if a guy like Max sees a guy like you, he has to have you. I've been in Kendall's shoes before. When we see a guy hitting on your or staring at you it makes a few switches go off in our head." I sighed and looked down wrapping my arms around my body. "If I was you, I'd drop this whole stupid thing and get Kendall back Logan. Seriously, enough with this horse shit. It's gone on too long and I'm afraid if you wait any longer, you'll end up alone with 27 cats. And you tend to get sniffle near cats so…" I put my head back and turned to the closed bedroom door. I looked back up, and opened my eyes grabbing the door knob. "No yelling Logan or cussing. Act like an adult." I snorted and pulled the door open and quickly walked out, down the hall. I sighed out, giving myself a pep talk and slowed down walking into the living room. No one was there. Kendall was gone. I felt a small panic start to rise in my chest and I quickly ran into the kitchen. Not there. I swallowed hard and turned hearing footsteps but only saw Max, walking into the living room, his shirt back on and a bag in hand. It looked like he was leaving, which was a good thing, but I still didn't like that he was walking towards me. Wrong way to the front door asshole.

"Logan…I'm so sorry. I tried to get him to stop but…"

"I don't think I want you here anymore." He froze in his steps and glared down at me. I crossed my arms over my chest and for the first time I felt this whole jealousy thing Kendall and James have been talking about. Kendall was mine…not meaning to sound possessive but he is. I loved him and the next time I sa whim, I was going to grab his face and kiss the life out of him.

"You're firing me?" I stood my ground even as he started walking towards me again, his bag dropping to the floor. I nodded and raised an eyebrow as he got closer to me. "I thought I was the best landscaper in town Logan?" He was literally right in front of me. I could smell his cologne, while, being very intoxicating, was too close for my comfort. "You can't be that mad to fire me, when it was that kid who made the first move. And you know, because I know you've been fucking him, that he's kind of really easy to convince something." My mouth dropped slowly as his head leaned down and put his mouth next to my ear. "I'll leave, and let you fire me, if you can tell me you don't want me, and that every time you see of me, or even think of me, you don't get hard." I sucked in a hard breath and closed my eyes. "That's what I thought…I'll see you tomorrow Logan." He pushed off me pushing me kind of hard into the counter behind me and I opened my eyes watching him pick up his bag just as the 4 other guys came walking in. When they all walked out of the house the front door shutting hard behind them, I le tout the long awaited breath and gripped onto the counter behind me. As if it was a sign from God himself there was a loud thunderclap overhead and the rain immediately started. I heard toby starting to cry in the back and walking down the hallway, both James and Carlos came, James clutching onto the scared little body of Charlie.

"Loges? You okay?" I only nodded and they walked out to me, James eyeing me. "Where's Kendall?" I shrugged my shoulders and looked down, feeling like I should have said something else to Max, to make sure he didn't come back and so he knew he actually was fired. "Well…I'm sure he'll come back. Just…remember to be nice and civil. We need to get home and get Toby fed but…you call whenever you need to, for whatever, alright buddy?" I nodded again and heard him sigh and shift. "Okay kid…call me if you need too." I looked up and slightly waved to them as they turned and headed for the door, baby and bags in tow. I smiled, reassuring James who looked back once last time. I smiled and he shook his head pulling the door open for Carlos who gently set a blanket over Toby's head. When they were gone and the door was shut I quickly pushed off the counter and walked fast to the home phone on the bar. I dialed Kendall's cell phone and put it to my ear walking to the back yard French doors. I shut the fast, pissed the guys didn't close them, so they would let the rain in. As soon as the doors shut I heard a soft ringing. I paused and let my hand slowly fall form my ear. It was definitely Kendall's phone. I still knew everything about that man. It sounded like it was coming from the garage and either that was a good thing, meaning he was still here, or that he left his phone in the garage and took off. I hung up quick and walked as fast as I could to the closed garage door. I pulled it open and low and behold, there he was. He was…sitting on the hood of my black Porsche with his head in his hands, not moving nor doing anything.

"Kendall?" He shot up fast and turned to see me, but didn't get off the hood. "What the hell are you doing on my car?" He bit his bottom lip, making em go actually insane, and shrugged.

"Well I figured…you hated me, and were going to kick me out so I thought…if I sat on the hood of my car, you couldn't drive away and couldn't force me to leave." I couldn't help the small smile seeing him stretch his legs out and sit back, relaxing. "SO try all you want but until you hear me out, I'm not leaving." I slowly started walking closer to him and he put his head down, not looking at me. When I stopped right by him he sighed and looked up at me but never looked in my eyes. "So let me just explain myself to you, without you yelling at me and…"

"Kendall just shut up and kiss me, please…" He looked up at me fast and I moved in. I held the sides of his face and pushed us together. As soon as my lips touched his I was set on fire. He moaned instantly, and pulled me into him. I lost balance and crashed down on top of him, making him fall back and not even knowing how he could lift me, he did. I was pulled onto of his body and one of his legs wrapped around me pushing me harder into his body. I had to pull away from his mouth for a minute just to catch my breath. "Kendall I'm sorry about everything."

"Shut up Logan." He attached his lips to my neck and pushed his hands up into my shirt running his fingertips over my back.

"No Kendall I think we seriously need to talk about everything before…"

"Logan!" I sat up and he lay back on my windshield and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, you're sorry. Can we please just go back to what we used to be without all the heartache? Please Logan?!" I gently moved over top of him and sat on his waist. He opened his eyes, looked up at me and smiled. "I know in that big crazy smart head of yours, you think us being apart will help, but it isn't. Not for me, and I will go out on limb here and assume you aren't doing too well yourself." I looked down at his body and slowly pushed my fingers up his shirt. As soon as his skin was staring to expose I felt my cheeks get hot. I looked up at his face, to see him staring at me, and gently grabbed my hips. "Don't look at me like that Logan Mitchell." I grinned and looked back down at his body. I gently traced over his abs and he sighed, squeezing onto my skin on my hips. I quickly bent down and kissed onto one of his faint abs. "So that's it? You're not going to yell at me and actually do what I say for once?" I smiled into kissing into his skin and he sighed. "You know it would be kind of kinky to have sex on your car, in the closed garage." I sat up fast and he grinned at me sitting up and holding onto me. "I'm glad I have your attention now. I just want to know if we are together before we do anything. I just want to know the next time we…" I wiggled his eyebrows and I smiled running my hand sup his neck and through his hair. "That were together and you will want to marry me, because I got to tell you, seeing Carlos and James with that kid…got me to thinking." I raised an eyebrow and he nodded. "Give em a family Logie bear. Please?" I smiled and pulled him into me kissing him softly. He pulled away and sighed. "Is that a yes?"


	14. Chapter 14: Carlos Is Right

**Kendall's P.O.V.**

**Two Weeks Later**

"Do you want to see the funny wunny funny dance Toby?" I eyed James as he started moving around, and shaking his butt and clapping in front of the small boy who was way too preoccupied with the small toy boat in his hands.

"James…no one wants to that stupid ass dance idiot." James stopped and frowned crashing down next to me on the blanket we were sitting on, on the beach. We were just outside our house but we were having a picnic with Toby. The weather was nice and warm and the waves weren't too big. Perfect day with the perfect people.

"SO Mr. shoot everyone down who tries to be awesome at dancing…how are you and Logan?" I drank some of my water from my water bottle and turned to him. He was setting Toby in his lap and applying another layer of sunblock on Toby.

"Well Mr. I think I'm perfect at everything…to be completely honest all we've been doing is fucking like animals." He turned to me fast and squeezed the tube of baby sunblock making it go everywhere on the blanket. I grinned and looked back out at the ocean. "I'm just saying…I can't keep my hands off him, and he can't keep his hands off me. It's just an endless cycle of fucking."

"What did I just hear?" We both turned to watch Logan and Carlos walk down to us, a cooler and a basket in their hands. "There is a child present you pervert." Logan walked in front of me and sat down quick setting the basket down next to us.

"He can't understand me, especially because of who his two fathers are." I turned to see two dirty looks from James and Carlos but Carlos shrugged it off sitting on the cooler he set down next to James.

"So when you going to teach me how to surf?" Carlos looked like a little kid opening presents on Christmas morning, and James giggled lifting up Toby and handing him over to Logan who took him and immediately took over putting the sunblock on his fair white baby soft skin.

"Let's go baby…you guys got this?" They walked away grabbing their surf boards without waiting for our answer and jumped in the ocean.

"Ya know…I'm starting to think these two only come over here so we can babysit. Assholes…" Logan sighed and I gently stretched out my legs in around him. Instantly he leaned back into me while setting the squirming kin on his butt between his own legs.

"Can you put some sunblock on my back please?" I blindly reached out for the lotion next to us and sighed squinting my eyes. There were faint red lines running up and down his neck and sort of on his shoulders, no doubt form my own nails. Last night we got a bit hardcore. I laughed quietly and bent down kissing his skin. He shuddered but sighed pushing back into me. "Sunblock me now! It will be difficult for us tonight if I am burned on my back." I squirted a gob onto his white skin and quickly worked it around, kissing the back of his head. "So I was talking to Carlos about the wedding." I groaned slightly and he shook his head. "Don't start, because this conversation might interest you." I remained quiet and still and he lifted his sunglasses off his face, setting them on his head and rubbing some baby sunblock on his own face. "If they could…Carlos said he would not go to France for the honeymoon. Instead he suggested, we maybe should go to the tropics? Maybe Jamaica, or the Bahamas? What do you think?"

"Logan we live right by the beach and you want to go right to the beach some more for the honeymoon?" He turned his head slowly and through hooded eyes he glared back at me. I smiled and stole a quick kiss to his soft pink lips. "I'm just saying…"

"You know I love the beach Kendall. Besides, wouldn't it be exciting to have sex on a foreign beach?" He grinned pulling his sunglasses back on and looked back at the ocean. I nodded, softly and counting rubbing the skin, even though the sunblock was well rubbed in.

"Well you make a very persuasive argument." He chuckled and nodded, standing Toby up who looked around suddenly very aware his dads were gone. Soon enough he turned to us, both of us smiling at him, and he closed his eyes and started crying his eyes out. Logan quickly pulled him up into his chest and started swaying back and forth. I groaned letting my hands slip down his back and gently hold onto his hips.

"It's okay little buddy, your daddies are out playing with some sharkies." Toby wailed just a little louder and I gently rested my head on his shoulder closing my eyes.

"Yeah tell him his dads are playing with sharks. Good idea." He sighed and gently continued rocking Toby. I gently traced my fingertips up and down his spine and turned my head just enough so I could kiss his shoulder. Just as I was going to kiss up to his neck I felt a vibration from beside my leg and looked down fast seeing Logan's phone vibrating. I was about to tell Logan his phone was ringing but when I saw the name "max" I stayed quiet and quickly picked it up. I held it and turned back to see Logan calming down Toby who looked like he seriously just needed a nap. The sun and pure excitement was seriously getting to him. The phone continued to vibrate and he didn't even notice. When it stopped, I could hear Carlos and James laughing, which meant they were getting closer. When the vibrations stopped, I looked at it quick and as fast as I could before the other two coming over, I opened his phone up and looked through his phone call history. Mostly calls made to me, or James or Carlos. Only one from Max, which was what, just happened. I even looked through his messages and no texts from Max. So why would he call, after two weeks of being fired? "Hey Loges?"

"Yeah baby?" I lifted my head and put his phone out in front of him.

"How come Max just called you?" Logan turned quick with one eyebrow raised over his sunglasses.

"First, he called probably demanding his and his crews paycheck. Second…do I detect jealousy?" I put his phone gently back onto the blanket and quickly pushed up, getting right behind him. He turned back to the front, and chuckled, laying Toby, fast asleep, in his arms. I raised my legs and carefully pushed Logan completely back into my body. He sighed and laid his head on my shoulder cradling Toby in his arms.

"Nope. No jealousy. Just wondering why that piece of shit would call you is all." He nodded against me and I laid my head on his. "You know how cute you look with those sunglasses, and the little sleeping baby in your arms right now?" He smiled and shook his head. I inhaled the salty air and closed my eyes loving life.

"So…we haven't really gotten to planning the wedding yet handsome. I mean, not the little details anyway."

"What little details?"

"Like our vows?" I opened my eyes and he shrugged his shoulders. Out a little in the ocean, I could see James and Carlos, now both just on Carlos's board, wrapped up in each other, making out. "If I had to be honest, I would like to write our own."

"Says the guy who makes a living as a writer…" He scoffed and I shook my head. "It will be easy for you, and besides…you know I suck at writing."

"Kendall Donald Knight…I swear to God sometimes…you can be the most frustrating individual on the planet." I gently brushed my fingertips over his arms still holding the sleeping baby and he turned his head to look up at me. I looked down at him and he frowned. "You can't be serious right? I was your teacher idiot. I know how you write. You love it, just like all those lyrics you write but still don't let me read. It would mean the world to me if you wrote your own vows." I turned my head away hearing some barking dogs in the distance down the beach and sighed. "But we can go the traditional route and use someone else's words. If you want." I felt him move his head to look back out at the ocean and swallowed hard.

"Promise me if I do write my own vows, you won't laugh at how stupid I know they will be."

"I can't promise anything…" I groaned loud and fell back, onto my back hard. I put my hands on my forehead and breathed out hard. I heard and felt him move around me but didn't look up to see him. Sure, I knew exactly what I would want to tell him on our wedding day and sure, he wouldn't laugh at me. Hell, he'd probably even cry but it was still hard to face him, and tell him exactly how I felt. I just didn't know if I had that much strength. "Kenny…" Suddenly he was over top of me gently pressing his knee between my legs. I opened my eyes and looked up at him and watched him lean down. One small sweet peak to my nose and he pushed himself back up. "I love you. No matter what your vows are…you will always be able to sweep me off my feet but just looking at me. Words don't measure our love." His right hand moved to my forehead and he brushed some hair off it. "So…say you love me, and tell me, you will write your own vows…" I smiled, and pushed myself up, kissing his lisp softly.

"I love you, and we can write our own vows." His own smile grew tenfold and pushed into me, shoving his tongue down my throat. My hands grazed over his ass and squeezed very rough.

"And this my love…" Logan and I turned quick to see Carlos and James walking towards us, sticking their boards into the sand. Carlos quickly lay down on his towel spread out, next to his sleeping baby. Logan and made a little pillow out of his own towel and laid him down. I was surprise to see Toby still asleep. "This is what we like to call two sick freaks dry humping next to our baby on the beach." Logan sighed and pushed off me standing up and pushing James who then grabbed around his body and threw him over his shoulder, without hesitation, and ran towards the sea. Logan threw off his sunglasses and laughed wrapping around James who just fell into the water. I sat up groaning and looked over at Carlos who was staring at me, smiling.

"What Garcia?"

"Uhm its Diamond and you." I raised both eyebrows and he laughed sitting up on his elbows. "You and Logan. You guys are too cute. I'm glad you're back together." I smiled down at him and turned away, as he started rubbing Toby's forehead. I looked out at the ocean to see Logan trying to swim away from James, both laughing and laughed myself.

I continued to hear Carlos's voice in the back of my head and shook my head, knowing how exactly right he was.

**SO I REALLY WANT TO DO A KOGAN WEDDING AND THAT WILL BE COMING UP BUT OTHER THEN THAT, I DON'T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO GO WITH THIS STORY SO…I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA AND I AM GOING TO START IT, BUT IF ANYONE HAS ANY OTHER KOGEN STORY LINE, LET ME KNOW!**


	15. Chapter 15: Like Father Like Son

**Logan's P.O.V.**

My left arm and hand was the only cold thing on my body. I was ice cold on my left side in fact. But it didn't matter because when I opened my eyes to see that I was on my stomach still, head pushed in hard into the white pillow, I smiled and instantly, I was warmed. I was going to lift my head and turn it to face the other side of the bed but stopped when a few finger tips grazed over the skin on the small of my back. "You are so damn sexy when you first wake up baby." I smiled and closed my eyes letting his fingers dance on my skin, making the Goosebumps rise up and my muscles tense up too, but in the good way. "And I love, even though you didn't need to, that you are all muscular and fit. I love your sexy strong back." A soft kiss was planted onto my right shoulder blade and one of his legs wrapped around the back of my legs so he was almost laying on top of me.

"I was starting to get a little stomach pouch. I needed to get my hot body back. The one you fell in love with." He chuckled, dark and deep by my ear and bit down on the lobe. "What time is it?" The hand that was grazing my back, moved up to my face and he wiggled his wrist a bit so his watch fell in my face. I loved his gold shinny watch he always wore mostly because it was one I bought him and it was really expensive. I smiled seeing the hands reading 4:42 in the afternoon and slowly raised my head. The back of my head hit his cheek and he wrapped his arm gently around my neck nuzzling his nose into my neck. "You haven't showered yet have you?"

"No…are you trying to say I need to?" I chuckled and shook my head. He sighed and gently pushed himself up, and straddled my waist form the back, sitting on my bare butt. The sheet that was covering me fell off when he pushed it off. He had on boxers, but I still felt his cold legs come into contact with my own bare skin. I rose up, stretching my back and sat on my elbows letting my head hang down as his magical hands started rubbing over my tense hot shoulders. "Are you sore?" I laughed and closed my eyes, ready to go back to sleep, but knowing, I couldn't.

"No I think I'm just…worried? Maybe? I don't know…it's the first time in almost three years of us being together, I'm meeting you dad and for some awful reason, knowing our history, it's going to suck. For me." He groaned loud behind me and fell forward putting his chin on my shoulder and groaning again.

"Logan come on! This morning you were so excited for tonight and now you have doubts?" I tried moving under him but he had me pushed down pretty hard.

"Yeah well when you informed me your dad was going to be there tonight my mind was a little clouded because you were fucking me into next week."

"Don't blame it on me Logan Mitchell." Both of his hands went outside my head and I started kissing onto his right arm. "Besides…what are you worried about?" I turned my head fast, and looked up at him, seeing him for the first time since I feel asleep after we had sex for the fifth time today. He gave me a cute, small smile showing teeth, but more importantly, the want in his eyes for me to say I was okay with going, with or without his dad being there. I sighed and fell back on the bed closing my eyes.

"Fine…under one condition." He hummed in my ear, lying flat on my back kissing my neck. "You never leave me alone, okay? I'll feel…panicked. And vulnerable." With a soft bit to my neck and a soft kiss to my ear, he blew in it before chuckling.

"Deal."

The next few hours went by in a blur of still touching each other, and not being able to stop smiling. He seemed relaxed and completely confident that tonight would go off in a stich. I tried to think and stay positive but every time I thought about it, the image of Kendall's dad beating the shit out of me overwhelmed any positivity. Even while I tied my tie around my neck, with shaky hands, and he talked to his mom on the phone asking if she needed us to bring anything, my fears and worries multiplied. I hated not knowing how it was going to turn out. I always knew. I always had control. "Let's go Logan! You don't want to be late! Bad first impression!"

I kept quite in the passenger seat as he drove, tapping lightly on the steering wheel with his fingers singing low to himself going along with the radio. His mom's house wasn't far from our own, so I didn't really have time to think of the first thing I would say to Kendall's father. And when I started thinking about that, it was already too late. Kendall pulled into the driveway, already packed with three cars. I wiped my palms on my legs as he shut the engine off and unclicked his seatbelt. When he got out, and shut his door I was still sitting in my own seat, my stomach turning, and my head spinning. Why was I reacting like this? It can't be that bad, I mean it was just Kendall's dad. I met his mom, who scared the living hell out of me on our first meeting. Maybe his dad wouldn't be that bad. My door pulled open and he reached in fast, unbuckling my seatbelt. "No matter what you think will happen and if he does say something to you, I love you no matter what. A few hours with my dad won't change my mind handsome." He straightened up and put out a hand. I took it getting out and shutting my door lacing out fingers together. "And a word of advice?" Kendall walked us up the stairs and stopped by the door, knocking. "Do not ask about his days in Vietnam. Please. He won't shut up about it if you get him started."

"You dad fought in Nam?" He looked down at me nodding his head. I let my mouth hang open and he cocked his head. "You left that information out Kendall!"

"So? What does that matter?" My mouth gaped open wide but our conversation was cut short. The door open and I was hit hard, with the smell of something Italian. I smiled big seeing Jennifer and quickly moved in, hugging her tight.

"You guys came just in time! Dinner is going to be ready in about 5! Come in, come in!" I was pulled in as we pulled away. I glanced down at her, seeing her wearing something I never would have imagined Jennifer Knight to wear. It was a mid-thigh length dress, blood red. It was also skin tight and cut low in the front. Yes she was my fiancés mom, but she still looked good. Any man would steal a glance. When I glanced up, to see her hug her son, I saw dark, Smokey make up around her eyes and dark red lipstick. If I didn't know any better, I would think Jennifer was trying to impress someone. When they pulled apart, she grabbed my hand and led me out into the kitchen, with Kendall right behind. "Your father is out back with your sister and Bobby."

"Bobby?" Mother and son looked at each other and Jennifer sighed. "Boyfriend?" Jennifer nodded and Kendall tensed up. "Not on my watch…" He started walking out and I put up my hands following after him, giving a small smile to Jennifer who shook her head, turning to the stove. I quickly caught up with Kendall lacing out hands back together as he stepped in the cool night air out on his families backyard. He stopped short and I ran into him seeing three people, all dressed up, standing around the fire pit, which was blazing. I gulped and clutched onto him as he started walking. Katie was the first to see us, and quickly ran over to us, her high heels smacking hard into the ground.

"Please Kendall…don't be an asshole." He glared down at her and I smiled up at her. With her heels she towered over me, much like Kendall. "You do realize you're going to marry an asshole right?" I grinned and pulled her into a hug. Over her shoulder I could see the other two, one holding a beer bottle, staring at us. I looked away fast and pulled away from her.

"Does dad like him?"

"Even if he didn't I wouldn't care." Kendall rolled his eyes and they both started walking, forcing me, to finally come face to face with Donald Smith. "Uhm Bobby…this is my big brother Kendall and his fiancé Logan." When we finally got in front of them, Donald who when I measured him up, was a lot bigger then I would have liked. Kendall was a tall skinny scrawny guy. But his dad was built like an MMA fighter. I turned my attention to the kid who waved nervously at us, clearly uncomfortable as Katie wrapped around him. When I heard someone, Donald, clear his throat I turned quick to see him staring down at me. I saw a tattoo on his neck and it looked like a cross. So freaking intimidating.

"Dad this is Logan, Logan this is my father Donald Knight." I extended my hand fast and he looked down at it, taking it, and shaking it softly. "Nice to meet you Bobby." We let go of each other's hands I nervously looked between Kendall and Bobby. "Why don't we, go have a talk by the cliff Bob?" Katie groaned but couldn't stop Kendall form grabbing the kids shoulder and leading him away. I gulped thanking God Katie was still there but frowned immediately hearing more heels.

"Katie Bug! Can you come help?" Katie turned to see Kendall getting in Bobbies face but turned, making a disgusting face as she walked over to her mom. When she was gone and all that was left was my nightmare, I tried desperately not to break into a panic attack.

"Kendall has never spoken badly about you." After a full minute of gut wrenching silence, Donald spoke to me. I looked up at him as he took a drink of his beer and when he brought it back down he shrugged his shoulders. "I was the first person he told about you. He asked if I would be disappointed." I frowned and he chuckled. "Not because he's with you. But because he let his heart jump into someone else's hands so quick." He looked me square in the eye and I kept my cool. Well tried. "He told me that the morning after your first date. So that should tell you something Logan. He's been in love with you for a long time and even with everything you put him through, he still loves you. He never once told me you were a bad guy. He said you were frustrating, but never did he complain about how you treated him. I guess I'm grateful for that. However…" I swallowed hard knowing these conversations always end like this. "When he came back home after your parents died…he was destroyed and I know you don't need to hear form me or anyone else how you are the luckiest guy if he took you back. You hurt my son, you ever break his heart again, so help me God Logan Mitchell, I will hunt you down kill you with my bare hands and hang your lifeless head over my fireplace. Do you understand?" I felt my head nod and watched him walk away, back in the house, not even glancing back at me. I let out a shaky breath just as Bobby walked quick past me cheeks red, evident fear in his eyes. I watched him then run in the house as Kendall got beside me laughing.

"Kid nearly pissed his pants. Pussy…"

"What did you say to him?" He slipped an arm around my waist, walking me to the house and I looked up at him.

"Well first I told him if he ever tried to put his hands on my sister and force her to do something when she said no, I'd break his dick." I laid my head on his chest and scoffed. "And then I closed the discussion with if he ever broke my baby sisters heart, I'd hunt him down, kill him with my bare hands and hang his lifeless head over my fireplace." I froze in my steps looking up at him and he glanced back at me kissing my head before chuckling. "Calm down…I wouldn't want his head over our fireplace. Our backyard would suffice." I let go of him, softly as he turned into the house, disappearing.


	16. Chapter 16: Same Mistakes

**First and foremost, I wish to thank all of my lovely awesome readers! You guys keep me writing! Second I want especially thank all of you who review and leave me comments. I love hearing what you think and because of a few of your comments on the last chapter, I can clarify some things up and hope there isn't any more confusion! I meant to keep Donald's last name as Smith (sorry about) and there was confusion about who boyfriend Bobby was. Sorry about all that! Anyway, please enjoy and keep being awesome and beautiful!**

**Kendall's P.O.V.**

The only noise coming from the dining room was the occasional scrap of the forks on the plates. I tried to make a noise and break the awkwardness and the obvious tension but nothing was working. I was practically done with my food and I stole a glance around the table. The first person I looked to was my mom at the other end of the table. She always seemed to being smiling when she looked up, either at me and Katie, and on one occasion I saw her smile at my dad. That was weird but what was worse was seeing the two across from Logan and me. My baby sister was stealing secret bats of her eye lashes to Bobby who would blush and look straight down at his plate and try not to look anywhere else. I squeezed hard around my fork and turned my attention away from them as quickly as I could to see my dad glancing around the table, both elbows on the table, much like I always do. He looked happy but he also looked like he had something heavy on his mind and body. I couldn't worry too much thought because unlike any other time my parents were in the same room together, this time, they weren't screaming in each other's faces, calling each other every name in the book.

Everyone around me seemed happy and content. Everyone except the cute little brunette to my immediate left. He was barely eating and was not making eye contact with anyone. Even me. Is hair, gelled up into his signature faux-hawk was pointing perfectly up and kind of made me wish I could pull on it while he screamed my name. But no matter how gorgeous he looked, I had to try to figure out why he is upset. And yes I can tell he is. I gracefully and smoothly moved my hand down to my lap, where my napkin was and pretended to wipe my hand. But slowly I moved my hand to his lap and pushed it between his legs squeezing his inner thigh. He gasped, barely audible even for me and let his fork drop out of his hands. He turned to me fast and we locked eyes but he blinked first. He looked back away and quickly and without anyone noticing, he pushed my hand away and sighed quietly.

"So Logan…" We both turned to my mother who smiled bright at us. "The wedding invitations are absolutely gorgeous. I love the gold trimming." I saw Logan grin out of the corner of my eyes, soaking up the compliments. I remember us making and deciding on the invitations, but he was almost all naked so my mind was far from it.

"Thank you. I'm glad you liked them. Kendall picked the gold." I blushed and sat back lazily letting my hand fall out of his lap. I looked up to see my mother smiling bright over at the two of us and I smiled back. She sighed out softly and looked away and across the table at my father. A small sly smile left her face and it was shot right at my father, who mirrored her exact look. I scrunched my eyebrows together hard and cocked my head slightly. My dad cleared his throat and looked between Katie and myself.

"If I could, I'd like to steer the conversation away from the wedding for a minute. There's something I want you two to know. Well something me…and your mother want you guys to know." I sat up straight and saw every head turn to my dad who grabbed his beer bottle and lifted it, nodding it towards my mother. "Your mom and I are getting back together." I swallowed hard and looked back between them not knowing who to look at. "We aren't going to do anything official yet until your wedding. We don't want to steal your thunder at all but we wanted you to know." Across from me I saw Katie looking blankly at my dad. "So now that they know, we can continue on with the wedding talk and…Katie?" We all heard her push her back, and storm out of the dining room. Everyone went quiet and after a second, a door slammed and Bobby jumped up. He was going to walk towards her but my dad stood up and glared at him. "Sit your ass back down." Bobby quickly did, and my dad pushed away from the table and walked out in the same direction my little sister did. I heard my mom sigh and saw her grab her empty plate and my sister's half empty plate.

"Bobby, why don't you come help me." Bobby nodded, and stood up grabbing his plate. "I think your father wants to talk to you guys." I nodded as I handed her mine and Logan's pates and her and Bobby walked out. I sighed sitting back, reaching for my beer bottle. I turned to look at Logan who was swirling his wine around in his glass staring at the white table cloth in front of him.

"You okay Loges?" He nodded not looking at me still, and I sighed taking a swig of my beer. We sat in silence only hearing the water running in the kitchen. I was actually really happy my parents were back together and I was happy they were going to do it after my wedding. But I was worried about my sister. She's never been my dad's biggest fan, but was pretty young when they divorced so she doesn't really know what it's like to have a happily married couple for parents. This would be for the best, especially for them. If they were happy, being together, I would be too.

"Your dad scares the shit out of me." I turned to see Logan staring at me, his wine glass inches from his lips. He shook his head slightly and leaned against the table. "How come you never told me about you telling him about me?" I leaned forward smiling and shrugged.

"Because no one really thinks my dad is that great. If you had known I was talking to him about you, I thought you might not want to be with me anymore." He snorted next to me and leaned into me, almost making me spill my beer. "I also was afraid I'd make the same mistakes he did. He doesn't really like to talk about shit. Sound familiar?" He laughed and I laid my head on his and closed my eyes. "Trust me Logan, I am exactly like my father, in every which way. My dad only scares you because he doesn't want you getting hurt." He pushed off me fast setting his glass on the table and shaking his head at me.

"Kendall your dad is more worried about me hurting you." I laughed and nodded running my hand up and down his leg making him shiver.

"No, he may come off that way but…us Smith men don't get hurt per se. We bottle shit up and push people out of our lives which usually hurts the ones we really love. A.K.A you." He smiled small and got up fast quickly sitting on my lap, wrapping his arms around my neck.

"So promise me you won't hurt me, and I promise you I won't hurt you." He kissed my nose softly and pulled away putting his forehead on mine.

"Isn't that why we're getting married?" He laughed, nodding and I rubbed my hands up and down his back but our intimate and special moment was gone quickly hearing footsteps and sniffles. Logan didn't get up off my lap though, which I loved, and we both turned back, to see my dad and my sister walking out. My sister took a hard left, going into the kitchen as my dad sighed and walked to the table.

"Wouldn't she be happy me and your mom are getting back together?"

"Well you haven't been here her whole life dad…" He sat down hard and I lazily wrapped an arm around Logan's waist. "But in time she'll see, it's not her decision and if you guys are happy who cares." He chuckled and nodded scratching at his chin. "Mom said you wanted to talk to us…"

"Well yeah I do. Mostly Logan." Logan's grip tightened on me and I rubbed his hip soothingly. "I am sorry about your parents Logan. I lost mine when I was pretty young too. Of course they were drunken idiots but…" He sighed and I glanced up to see Logan looking at him, either concerned or with an open mind. "My point is…you both already know I have given you my fill support in your relationship, and now your marriage, and if there was anything I could do to help you guys, I will. With that being said…" I saw my dad tense up as he swallowed hard and sighed out harder. "I want to pay for it." Logan let go of me quick and got ready to protest. I stopped him fast.

"Dad that's not necessary." He glared at me but Logan sat up straight.

"I appreciate the gesture, and I am glad you support us but…"

"It's not up for negotiation boys." Both of us went quiet and he shook his head. "So, after your wedding before you two go off on your honeymoon, I'll put the money in your account Kendall and that's the end of it. Understood?" I saw Logan's mouth hang open as he watched my dad stand up, grabbing his bottle. "Okay cool. Good conversation guys." He walked out, without a care in the world towards the living room and out of sight.


	17. Chapter 17: The Wait Will Be Worth It

**Logan's P.O.V.**

I was being watched. Like a hawk. And usually it would make me blush and it would make me stutter my words. But right now, it was pissing me off and I was not in the mood. I lifted my head fast and sure enough, sitting across from me at the table was the man of my dreams staring me down. I clenched one fist and hit it softy on the table. He jumped slightly, and licked his lips looking down at the table. "You aren't even paying attention are you?" I whispered because of the people at the other different tables. He looked back up and picked up his fork stabbing at the plate in front of him, getting a piece of cake on it. "Please don't act like a child okay? We need to pick out our cake still and you aren't helping me one bit."

"Well I like chocolate. You know that. Besides why do we have to try 700 different kinds of cake for one night?" I sat back crossing my arms over my chest and glared at him. He shoved the fork in his mouth and stared back at me. "I love you." He said it through a full mouth making a few small pieces of chocolate cake come out, inevitably making me laugh. I grabbed my napkin, and reached across the table, wiping his mouth. He leaned into my hand and stuck out his tongue trying to lick my hand. I moved it away quick, and sat back picking up my own fork.

"Well I like the strawberry." I raised the fork to my mouth taking a bite of the delicious and moist strawberry cake, and saw him roll his eyes. "Hey what if we have both?" He raised his eyebrows, taking a sip of his milk. "Well what if we have this design…" I pointed to the little book the baker gave us, to pick out our cake design. The picture was of a 4 tier square cake. "We could have strawberry on the bottom, then chocolate, then strawberry and the chocolate to top it. And we could do the white icing with maybe…uhm…the dark blue writing icing? What do you say handsome?" I looked up in time to see him standing up, and walking around the table to my side. He sat down in the booth next to me, and I sighed putting my napkin on the table next to my empty plate. Two soft, warm little lips were attached to the skin under my ear and I leaned into him, pushing his lips harder into my skin. "If you won't tell me what you want, I'll just decide it for us." I warned him, but my threat was empty. His lips parted, and his tongue lightly graced over the skin. I closed my eyes squeezing them shut hard and reaching out beside me, to grab ahold of his leg. I squeezed his thigh and he gasped next to me blowing hard into my ear.

"Does this place have a bathroom?" I opened my eyes fast and turned to his face. He ducked in, to kiss my lips, but I pushed him back and sighed irritated.

"Were not having sex in a public bathroom, 5 days before our wedding. I'm going to go tell this nice lady what we want and we can go to the country club and do one last walk through with the planner." I started scooting away from him on the booth but didn't get very far. He slipped an arm around my waist and smashed me back into him. I groaned, feeling his lips back on my skin, this time further down on my neck. "Kendall seriously…we have a lot of shit to do today and today is the last day we can do it."

"Just meet me in the bathroom in like two minutes and then I'll suffer through the rest of the day with you, doing what you want and what we need to do." With that he stood up and was on his way to the back where the bathroom was. I shook my head, picking up the small book, and the empty plates and walked back over to the front counter smiling at the small little old lady behind the counter. She slipped on a pair of glasses and I sighed putting the book in front of her.

It was about 10 minutes to actually describe to her, exactly what we wanted but when we were done, and she had drawn out a diagram of what we were actually planning on having. I paid in advance and thanked her a bunch before putting my sunglasses on and sighing, realizing Kendall wasn't out of the bathroom yet. I groaned and walked quickly to the back. The bathrooms in the back were both closed. One was the women's, on the right so I went to the left and gently pushed on the door. It didn't move. It was locked. I sighed and knocked. "Kendall…lets go. Come on." I knocked again and leaned against the frame. When I heard the lock click I stood up straight ready to turn but when the door was opened, I was grabbed by my collar and pulled in hard and rough. The door shut hard and it was locked, again. I was slammed into the wall by the door and quickly his mouth was one mine, kissing me. Both my hands went to his face, and I tried to push him away, but my will power wasn't strong enough. SO I just kept my hand son his face letting him work on my zipper. Only then did I realize he was actually getting my pants off, and I turned my head away, eyes closed, gasping for air. "God damn-it Kendall stop…you know the rule." He didn't stop though. Instead, his hands went down to the back of my thighs and he lifted me up. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He was still kissing all over my neck and weather I liked to admit it or not, I was slowly getting turned on. "Kendall please stop…we promised each other, we would wait until the wedding night." His lisp stopped and we both turned to stare at each other. I ran a hand through his hair and he sighed. Gently setting em back down on the ground.

"I hate that rule! We've already gone 9 days with no sex! How could you do this to me? And how are you not as physically upset about this as bad as I am?!" I couldn't help but chuckle and I reached up, gently patting his cheek. He groaned and put his forehead on mine.

"I'm sorry honey but its tradition. Now, we need to get to the country club, run through with the planner, and then we need to meet your sister and mom at the dress shop for one last fitting. And after that…"

"We can go home and bone?" I turned fast, smoothed out my shirt, zipped my pants back up, and unlocked the door. "You're such a god damn tease Logan Mitchell."

Our meeting with the planner was short and sweet thankfully. The place were having the wedding is already being set up and she just wanted to make sure everything was going to our liking. Everything was and again Kendall tried to seduce me, but again, my will was too strong. It wasn't until the dress shop, where Katie and Jennifer were, already getting the dresses on, when Kendall stopped trying and just sat in the corner and pouted. I was happy about that but now he was just acting like an asshole. He would make bitchy comments, and ignore his mom and sister. I knew he was horny and upset that I wanted to wait until the wedding night to have sex, but this was just getting ridiculous. When we left, the girls dresses fitting and both giving Kendall crap for being rude, we got in the car, him behind the wheel, me in the passenger seat. It was now dark and it was almost 9 at night. I was hungry but I doubt Kendall would care. He drove in complete silence, the only thing making noise was the engine of the car. Until we stopped and I turned to stare at him. He acted like he didn't even see me staring so I sighed and looked back to the front of the window. An evil plan, managed to creep into my mind as he stepped on the gas going through the green light.

"Hey babe?" I didn't get any answer so I smiled to myself and sat back a little. "I was thinking…to go along with the traditional aspect of our wedding, maybe for the next couple days we shouldn't see each other?" I dared to glance over at him, to see him breath out softly, turning on his blinker and getting in the left lane.

"First of all…what about our wedding is traditional? We both have dicks." I rolled my eyes looking away and he continued. "Second, you and I both know you won't be able to spend one day without me." I chuckled loud and looked back at him. He shrugged. "I know I can't so why put ourselves through that?"

"Because you don't know how to keep your hands to yourself. I want our wedding ot be perfect Kendall!"

"And it will be baby I promise. That doesn't mean we have to stay away from each other. I will…try to behave myself, okay? How about that?" I turned to face him and shook my head, him finally turning to me, one eyebrow raised.

"I'm afraid I don't trust you Kendall Knight. You are a pervert by nature." He clenched his jaw ad turned back to the road. "How about this? We get some rooms at the nicest hotel in L.A. and pamper ourselves fro the next four days."

"No dice Logan." I sighed sitting back watching him pull right into our driveway. I stayed in my seat, seatbelt still on even when he turned the car off, and took off his own seatbelt. "Now you're going to be mad at me?" I glanced out my window and ignored him. "Logan come on…this is kind of ridiculous." I continued looking out the window hoping he would break before I did. Usually I would have to use sex to persuade him but…given the circumstance that would defeat the purpose. "Fine if you want to be like this then stay in the car all night. I don't care." He got out fast, and slammed his door behind him. I watched him walk around the front of the car, going towards the door on the walkway. However when he realized I wasn't following he stopped and looked in at me, putting both hands on his hips. We stared at each other and if I could have heard him, I bet he was groaning in frustration, throwing his head back, having a tantrum. He walked to my door and pulled it open softly. "I'll call for the reservations." I smirked making sure he didn't see as he reached in and unbuckled my seatbelt. "Don't think this is going to work on me in our marriage Logan. You can't just always win." I leaned forward and kissed his cheek before he got out and stood up straight. "Even I know that's a lie." I chuckled quietly to myself before I stepped out, watching him shove his hands in his pockets, and kick at the blades of grass on the lawn, mumbling to himself. I shut the door softy and sighed.

"Trust me baby…on the wedding day and on the night, the wait will be worth it."


	18. Chapter 18: You Ready To Get Married?

**Kendall's P.O.V.**

"Wakey, wakey…hands off snakey…" I slowly opened my eyes and groaned out seeing Carlos and my sister leaning over me, huge ridiculous smiles on their faces. "Come on buddy! It's your wedding day!" Carlos gently slapped my chest and jumped off my bed running to the window and throwing the blinds back. I was expecting to see the sun blazing in. But I didn't, and it made me sit up fast. It was overcast, raining and the wind was blowing really hard. "Yeah uhm…this started about an hour ago. The weather guy said the storm isn't going to stop until late tonight." Carlos turned to face me, a sad look on his face and put his hands in his pockets shuffling his feet. "Which also means some flight are being delayed. Including your flight to the Bahamas'."

"How long is it delayed?" I felt Katie plop on the bed next to me and she flipped on the TV, right to a news channel. We all went quiet listening to the pretty lady talk about the storm, but my mind was drifting. What if we had to postpone the wedding? And what if everything got ruined making Logan hate me? It's not like I can control the weather. But I did promise him everything would go smoothly and perfectly. This day officially sucked.

"Kendall…Logan's on the phone." I turned to my right to see Katie handing me the corded phone on the desk and I sat back yawning and taking it from her. "Carlos, let's go get him some coffee and carbs. Carbs always help me…" They both hoped off the bed, walked to the door talking quietly, while I held the phone to my chest, waiting for them to leave. When I heard the door shut, I turned down the TV and pressed the receiver to my ear.

"Hey baby. Happy Wedding Day." He chuckled deeply on the other end. He was probably just woken up as well, and his morning voice always got me going.

"Well you're in a better mood then I was expecting. How'd you sleep?" I sighed and put my head back, stretching my legs out, and curling my toes.

"Fine actually. I'm pretty sick of sleeping alone though." Again he laughed making my heart skip a beat. "What are we going to do Loges?"

"Hey don't get your hopes down. I just got a call from the hall. They can move everything inside, including the ceremony. The only problem they think we're going to have is getting everyone there. The wind and rain combination are making driving conditions difficult." I looked out to the window and sighed heavily. "So, everything is going to stay the same. Except maybe have all the guest come about an hour early, just so they can get there on time, and out of the storm quicker."

"Yeah that will work. I just hope everything goes okay."

"Baby, the storm won't last all day and night. And whatever happens is meant to be and will be a pure test of how strong we really are. And how strong our family is too. So just stay calm, get yourself relaxed and I'll see you at 3 this afternoon, walking down the aisle." I smiled and sat up, pulling my legs to my chest.

"Well once again, you make a very persuasive argument." He chuckled and I rested my head on my knees and closed my eyes. "I can't wait to see you Logie Bear."

"Please don't call me Logie Bear, Kenny Rabbit." I laughed out loud and lifted my head back up, hearing a knock at my door. "Oh and you should be getting room service pretty soon. I ordered us the couples breakfast, so enjoy that." I laughed and got up stretching.

"Yeah it just got here. Give me one minute handsome." I gently set the phone on the bed and walked to the door, not caring that I was only in my boxers. When I pulled the door open, I let the guy walk in, pushing his cart. I grabbed a twenty form my wallet and handed it to him before he walked out, giving me a big smile. I waked back to my bed, grabbing the receiver and put it too my ear, walking to the cart. "James…stop it!" I held the phone between my ear and shoulder and sat down lifting the silver lid to reveal a big full omelet. I quickly grabbed my fork and heard Logan sigh. "You there Ken?"

"Yeah. Thanks for the omelet baby." He chuckled and I shoved a fork full in my mouth, turning my attention back to the TV.

"Well I'll let you eat and get yourself ready. Please don't worry too much about everything okay? This is a day of love and happiness not worries, okay?" I swallowed a big piece hard and sighed.

"Don't hold your breath on that. I'm already nervous." He gave me an irritated and sassy sigh, so I sat back a little and stabbed at my omelet. "Okay, okay. Calm down your cute little butt. I'll see you at 3." He chuckled and we said our good byes and our "I love you" before I hung up and scarfed down my omelet and fruit salad. I also had a chocolate chip muffin and whole wheat toast, but my nerves were twisting my stomach. I was afraid if I ate more, I'd throw up. Actually, the food that I have eaten was probably going to come up later today. Hopefully, not during the wedding.

Carlos and my sister were with me throughout the whole day, taking with me, watching stupid movies up until noon when my mom and dad came by with my tux and everyone left me to get ready. I showered longer then I usually do, because it felt like I was burning up, and had a fever. I stood under the cool water for over 10 minutes. And each minute that passed, I was becoming more and more nervous. Just like I suspected, my breakfast came up. Luckily I got out of the shower in time to chuck up into the toilet. In a weird way, throwing up made me feel a little better and I got back in the shower, actually washing my hair and body. When I got out, with just a towel around my waist, I heard my hotel room door open and soft whispering. I peered out and smiled seeing Carlos and James, both already in their tuxedos, with Toby. Also in a tuxedo and little black and white converse. He looked so cute, I could have chewed off his chubby little cheeks. He was walking himself, with the help of James and Carlos holding his hands. When Toby saw me, he squealed out and tried getting out of his dads grasp. James looked up and grinned.

"Hey buddy. You look good. You should definitely chuck out the tux and just wear that." I glared at him and went back in the bathroom, turning on the sink and grabbing my shaving crème. "Logan looks pretty dang good too." James walked in and leaned against the counter putting his hands in pockets.

"Is he ready?" I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye and started putting the crème on my face. "Is he nervous?" He chuckled and turned fast and straightened his tie, looking at himself in the mirror. As I started shaving I took the chance to see how handsome he looked. Just like on his own wedding day. He had his hair gelled back, in an old school kind of way. Like James dean, or Dean Martin. And his smooth black tux, white button up shirt and dark blue tie really made him look that much better.

"NO he's not nervous. He is excited and if I had to be honest…" I watched him grab my bottle of cologne and sniff it, before spritzing some on his neck. "I think he's more excited for tonight. He is one raging horny bastard." I smiled and cleaned my razor before putting it back by my neck. As soon as it touched my neck, I felt a small tug and a hard pinch. I jerked away and looked at the lien of blood running through the white crème. I groaned and wiped off my razor again. "Who the hell taught you how to shave?" I was turned rough to face him and he nudged me to sit on the toilet. I did and sighed looking up at him. "Do you remember the first time we met?" I laughed and he gently took the razor form me putting it to my throat. He gently and slowly rose it up on my neck, without cutting me.

"Yeah I do. You walked in Logan's apartment just as we were fighting about you." He chuckled and continued shaving my neck, and chin. "Why do you ask?" He shook his head and shrugged.

"I don't know if Logan ever told you this but I convinced him to chase after you. I convinced him to tell you how he felt." He stopped for a second, put the razor down and locked eyes with me. "I know you and I have never really…gotten along. We both are kind of like the same person in a weird way. Were both strong headed. And we both know how to get under Logan's skin which is sometimes a good thing for us." He kneeled down onto his knees and gently set his free hand on one of my knees. "Be good to him Kendall. He's been through hell and back with his relationships, even with you. But you've always stayed. You have always been the one who he kept running back to. Because he loves you. Like a whole bunch." He smiled small and shrugged. "Be happy Kendall. You both have come this far, to see something happen to your perfect relationship, would be devastating. I'm happy to call you a friend and I'm happy you and Logan have each other. And I'm happy you guys asked me to share this day with you, given our past…" I smiled and nodded. He stood up and put the razor back to my neck. I continued to stare at him as he finished and couldn't help but chuckle to myself. He raised an eyebrow, but didn't look in my eyes. "What?" I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Nothing…it's just…the old me would have never let you put a razor blade to my neck in fear you wanted to slice my neck open." He laughed out loud, wiped the razor clean and motioned for me to get up. I washed my face clean and before drying it, I put some toothpaste on my tooth brush and started to brush my teeth, while he watched me.

"You seriously thought I would do something like that to you?" I nodded and he sighed looking out the bathroom door. "Come here Toby! Come punch Kendall in the nuts!" I heard an irritated sigh from Carlos and laughed spitting out the toothpaste.

For the next 30 minutes, James and Carlos, and even Toby, helped me get ready. Carlos tied my tie, while James did my hair. All of my nerves seemed to vanish, especially since James talked to me. A whole weight was lifted off my body and by the time 2 o clock rolled around, I was exited happy and ready to marry the man of my dreams. Even the walk down to the lobby with my parents, sister and Carlos and Toby (James went to walk with Logan) I was getting more and more excited. The storm hadn't let up, but that didn't matter to me. I got in the back of a limo quick with my mom and sister on either side of me, and couldn't stop smiling. My jaw and mouth was actually starting to hurt. I saw my dad quietly talking to Carlos and both occasional looking down at a sleeping Toby in Carlos's arms, and laughing. It made me excited and happy for the time, hopefully in the very near future, when Logan and I had our first baby. Especially knowing how upset my dad would be, knowing he was in fact a grandfather.

I looked out the window as the crappy weather and the busy streets of L.A. zoom by us. My excitement intensified tenfold when I saw another limo, the one we rented for Logan and I parked out front of the country club when we parked ourselves. I sighed out, happily and excited when my dad opened the door, got out and opened the umbrella putting out a hand for my sister to help her out. I let my mom go out next, and before Carlos passed me, putting a blanket over Toby to shield him from the rain and storm, he stopped and smiled at me.

"You ready to get married buddy"


	19. Chapter 19: My Soulmate, My Everything

**Logan's P.O.V.**

"Loges?" I turned away from the window and smiled seeing James walk in with Toby in his arms fast asleep. I smiled at him and he walked to me sighing quietly and softly. "He just got here. He looks better than when I saw him last." I nodded and looked to stare out at the ocean. "How are you doing?" I smiled and shook my head. "You look a little pale buddy."

"Well I'm about to get married James. You looked worse on your wedding day."

"Hey…" I turned and saw him glaring at me. "I looked incredible on my wedding day, as I always do. And it's okay to get cold feet." I chuckled and reached out for Toby. He handed me him and I started to gently rock back and forth on my feet.

"Cold feet and anxious to get it started are to different things James." I walked to the small couch, sitting down and watched James walk tot eh window and stare out. "If I was going to be honest I think it's beautiful outside." He turned to me fast a look of horror and confusion all over his face. I put my head back and closed my eyes sighing. "I'm just saying…if it was bright and sunny out today, my wedding would be perfect and would go down in history as the most romantic wedding known to man."

"Second." I lifted my head and he giggled walking to me, and sitting right down next to me.

"Regardless…with the rain and the storm, Kendall and I could look back at this day as not just the day we married but as the day God much like everyone else who doesn't think two guys should get married, tried to stop us." We looked at each other and he turned very serious, very fast. "You know I'm not one to be religious or anything and this is why. If there was a God, who apparently loved everyone equal, why would he let protestors stand outside my wedding place and tell me all fags will go to hell? And most importantly why would God make my wedding day have shitty whether?"

"Not to be an absolute jackass here or anything but…raining down on your own wedding with depression and anger, doesn't help." I continued to stare at him, remembering the people in the back on the beach, holding signs and chanting horrible things to me. "Who the fuck cares what they think? And more importantly why do you care? Logan Mitchell, I am ashamed of you." That stung quite a bit and he stood up shaking his head and pacing in front of me. "Yeah I get it, having a bunch of dick holes outside your wedding saying you're going to hell sucks but can't you look on the brighter side of things for once? Jesus Christ…I gave Kendall speech about how happy I was for the two of you and he laughed with me, and he doesn't even care if the weather or the idiots outside think. You know why?" He stopped in front of me, looking down at me in a very fatherly way. "Because he's only thinking about you and him. He just wants to be with you, happy and healthy for the rest of his life. He cares about you and only you. You should not let the little things ruin your special day Logan because it isn't worth it. Just be happy for God's sake." My intention wasn't to get him al upset and in a bad mood, and I felt bad. He was right, even though I hated to admit it. I stood up carefully still holding Toby and tried to give my best 'I'm sorry' face. He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and glared at me.

"I'm sorry James. You know how I get. One thing spooks me and I make it seem bigger than it actually is." He nodded, in a smug way and I looked back at the window. "For some reason, I think that if my parents were still here, I wouldn't have gotten so upset. I really wish, they were here James." I continued to look away from him, knowing if I saw him, I'd start crying. But I didn't need to turn to him. I felt a soft warm hand on my neck and he pulled me in, gently making sure Toby didn't get squished.

"I know Logan. I'm sorry their not. My parents didn't see me get married either." I closed my eyes and dug my face into his shoulder. "But I know, they are so proud of you, and can't wait to see you start your new life with the guy of your dreams." I squeezed my eyes hard and tried so hard to not cry. But it was inevitable at this point. "Just think of it this way Loges. The rain and the storm…is God's way and your parents way of showing you that they're here with you." I opened my eyes slowly, tears falling out and looked up at him. He smiled, wiping my face quick. "Weren't you ever told as a kid that rain was God crying?" I shook my head and he laughed. "Your parents and God are crying to show their love and how proud they are. Obviously it's a lot if you have an almost hurricane storm out there." I laughed and stepped away from him, sniffling and wiping my face as best I could. "All I want you to think of right now is…your first dance with him okay? And the moment you guys cut the cake. The moment you hear him say his vows and I promise everything will be okay." I nodded and gave him back Toby. He had put his arms out and gently took him, pulling him into his body, gently and in a loving way. Before either of us said another word, the door was pushed open gently, and Katie appeared looking so beautiful. I smiled big and walked to her looking her up and down. Her knee length dark blue dress fit her perfectly and her pretty curly hair, with the little blue flowers spread around it, made her look like a grown women. I put out my arms and she walked into them, hugging me softly.

"You've been crying."

"It's an emotional day kid."

"Shut up James. I wasn't talking to you." I sighed and let go of her, staring between the two. They both smiled and Katie sighed. "Were all ready. The guest are all seated and Kendall's ready to walk." I nodded and turned to James. He walked to us, gave me a kiss to the cheek and then a soft one to Katie's cheek.

"See you out there Loges and soon to be Mr. Knight." He smiled and walked out, leaving the door open. I looked to Katie to see her with her arm out, ready to be linked with mine. I laughed and gently put my arm through hers and let her walk me out.

Walking down the hall, hearing the soft talking of the guest made my nerves perk up. But I wasn't going to let it sway me. When we reached an open door that made the talking come out clearer, I smiled like an idiot. Katie gripped my arm and I looked down at her. She smiling up at me and when she saw me looking at her she laughed and laid her head on my shoulder sighing softly. "I love you Logan. Not just as my older brothers husband, but as my brother and my best friend." I kissed the top of her head and closed my eyes to take in the moment.

"I love you too Katie." She giggled again and we both looked back to the doors seeing Kendall's dad motioning us to come in. I sighed out hard and we both started walking.

The walk down the aisle seemed really long. Especially because all I could stare at was Kendall walking down the other side with his mom clinging to his arm. We both locked eyes as soon as we stepped in. I couldn't take away from him. The way we had it set up, was with three aisle. I thought it was a beautiful idea to have us come in at different ends and when it was over, walk down the middle aisle, together as a married couple. Seeing it actually happen now, I don't know. It broke my heart into a million little pieces. Except in the good way. When I walked up the two short steps to greet him finally, and see him in full took my breath away. He was so stunning. Like drop dead gorgeous stunning. And I've been with a model. His hair was slicked back popping out his green eyes even more, if that was even humanly possible. His white suite and black button up shirt, with light blue tie drove me up the freaking wall. I was really glad all of a sudden we had chosen the dark and light blues for both of us to wear. We stepped even closer to each other and going as quickly as I could, I reached out and grabbed both his hands. He laughed but squeezed them like he was never going to let them go.

I heard the minister who had agreed to ordain us talk and knew he was saying something of importance but I couldn't look away from Kendall. And he couldn't look away from me either, so it was okay. The only thing I noticed was when one of his hands let go of mine. I panicked slightly but smiled seeing him pull out a piece of folded notebook paper. It looked worn and tiered like he had unfolded and folded it back up over and over. And when he let go of my other hand to unfold it once more, I saw him shaking. I couldn't stop the tears, even if I tried.

"I just want to start by saying how hard it was to write this down. I've never really thought of myself as a writer but when I had thrown away a whole tree practically it hit me." He looked up at me, one tear escaping. "When I couldn't think of the words to say myself, I found someone else, to speak very clearly for me. A man by the name of John Keats to be exact. He said, "_I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for their religion - I have shudder'd at it. I shudder no more. I could be martyr'd for my religion. Love is my religion. And I could die for that. I could die for you." _He paused and I heard a soft awe from the guests. He cleared his throat, his nerve getting the best of his voice and making it crack, like he was a 12 year old boy going through puberty. "I've never been in love Logan. Not until I met you, and you changed me. For the better. I would lay down in front of a train and stand in front for a bullet for you, as cheesy as it sounds. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, to see you grow even more and find out what else you have to teach me. I love you Logan Mitchell and not only would die for you, I want to live for you." He sighed out hard and folded the paper back up. I was a sobbing and hysterical mess and when the paper was back in his pocket he quickly wiped my face. "Your turn." He said as quietly as he could but his mom and a few people in the front row like my aunts and uncles heard him, and laughed. I laughed to, just to break the tension. I grabbed his hands again and breathed out slowly before opening my mouth.

"No matter what life throws at me, I know you'll be there to see me through it. Just like you always have been. We started out as a couple afraid to be seen together because our relationship was considered taboo. My life was flipped upside down when you came into my English 101 class and looked at me. You made me see the world through a different perspective and with an open mind. You helped me see that love has no boundaries and cannot be stopped with an age difference. You were always persistent with me Kendall, to make me see how much you loved me. You even knew, though I'm not sure how, that this day would come. You knew that one day we'd walk down an aisle and give each other our whole lives. I am forever grateful for that. I will always love you and I will always know that you, Kendall Knight was made exactly for me. You are my soul mate and my everything. I love you Kendall." I stopped and bit my bottom lip, holding back the tears and the sobs. I heard Kendall's mom sobbing behind him, still holding her flowers. Again the minister talked in front of us and I even was given the ring from Katie, but all I saw, heard and knew was Kendall in front of me. After a minute or so, he opened his mouth and I Do, without hesitation. I smiled big and felt him squeeze my hand before I was asked.

"Do you, Logan Mitchell, take Kendall Knight to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health, till death you part?" I grinned big and nodded.

"I do." We both had slipped on our rings when we said I do and the coolness form it made me shiver but it went away fast.

"By the power invested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and Husband. Logan, Kendall, you may now kiss your man." We both turned to see the minister smiling big and winked at us. I laughed and turned back to Kendall. I was pulled in quick, by the back of my neck and he smashed out lips together hard. I grabbed a hold of his waist and squeezed standing on my tip toes to get closer to him. I felt him smile into the kiss and it made me smile, move my hand sup to his face and pull away ever so slightly. His eyes were closed and he wasn't crying any more but I could still see the wet marks from when he was crying earlier.

"I love you Kendall Knight." He opened his eyes and smiled even bigger leaning in and kissing me softly again before pulling back away and moving his hands down to my back where he pulled me in.

"I love you too Logan Knight."

**SO A QUICK QUESTION…SHOULD I DO THE RECEPTION? WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE TO SEE IT? THE STORY IS ALMOST DONE, BUT IF IT IS WANTED, I WILL DO AN EXTRA CHAPTER, WITH THE RECEPTION BEFORE GOING ON…LET ME KNOW AND I'LL UPDATE AS SOON AS I CAN! REVIEWS ARE LOVE!**


	20. Chapter 20: To Make You Feel My Love

**Kendall's P.O.V.**

My hand never left Logan's. My silver ring touched his skin between his fingers and all I could do was smile, and hope and pray I didn't explode. When we walked down the center aisle, I kept a straight face making sure our families and friends didn't suspect how freaking I close was to exploding in my pants. When we stepped out into the lobby, I saw the storm and wind, not letting up. I was still a little sad about the weather but when I saw an open and fairly empty small room, Logan was in before the wedding I struck up an idea. "Kendall that was the most…what the?" I dragged him in first, and closed the door behind me, locking it. He straightened out, gave me a very "don't be a pervert" look and put his hand son his hips. "Just so you know, we have a reception to go. Our own in fact."

"They can wait." I let my eyes roam down his body and sauntered closer to him.

"Kendall Knight…don't look at me like that. I'm hungry because I haven't eaten all day because I was afraid I'd throw up." He moaned softly as soon as my lips attached to his neck. Automatically his fingers ran up through the hair on the back of my head and he gave in, easily. "Did I mention how handsome you looked today?"

"Yeah well you looked fuckable…" I mumbled into his skin and nibbled softly leading up to his ear.

"God damn-it. You really get me hard with your romantic sweet words." I pulled away and locked eyes with him. He was grinning, ear to ear with hooded eyes. I held onto his hips and sighed softly. "I'm hungry and I want salmon." His voice was soft and sweet and I couldn't help but laugh and gently kiss his nose.

"Okay…you win. You just wait tell tonight. You're gonna get it." He shook his head, pushing me softly, and walking past me. I sighed and straightened my tie, turning back to him. As he pulled open the door, I reached out and quickly pinched his butt. He yelped and jumped, turning to me giving me a stern look. I put my hands up, in surrender and he laughed walking out, putting his hand out for me. Again I took it. We walked down the hall, by ourselves, leaning into each other not being able to stop our smiles. When we got to the banquet room, I could already smell all the food. When we walked in we were greeted by a few of our friends. We walked in further, smiling at a few people here and there weaving though the tables that were alternated in different shades of light and dark blues. Up at the front a long table was set up for us and when we got closer, I felt Logan's hand let go of my own. I smiled to myself looking down and seeing him staring at the long table, where on the right, my mother father and sister were sitting. On the immediate left of my dad's seat were four empty seats. Two were for the both of us but the other two…

"Why are there two more seats?" I moved in front of him, gently putting his face in mine and smiled down at him. He looked tense and little put off. I gently rubbed under his eyes on his cheeks.

"Your parents are here. Maybe not physically, but spiritually and emotionally they are." His eyes closed and I moved into him closer. "It's not fair Logan. It's not fair that only my parents got to see us get married. I thought, if I got to have my parents here, you should be able too, too." He breathed out hard and pushed into me harder wrapping around my torso. He pressed his face into the space between my collarbones and his head fit right under my chin, perfectly.

"You are too good for me…" It was a soft whisper that made my heart grow completely out of my chest. I kissed the top of his head and ran my fingertips over his shoulders and down his back. I set my chin on his head and saw Carlos and James walking towards us, eyeing us suspiciously. When they got behind him, I held around his back and sighed.

"What?" Logan lifted his head slightly but I shook my head.

"Well…your guests are hungry. And I know Logan is too so…" James patted his back gently and I looked between Carlos and James who I now noticed, looked worried. "I think Carlos wants to talk to Kendall for minute Loges. Let's go get you feed." Logan pushed off me, stood on his tippy toes, kissed my lips softly and let James pull him off to the table. I didn't even have time to watch them walk away because Carlos got right up in my face and looked a short second away from exploding. And he did.

"Were having a small problem with the cake." I stared down into his soft brown eyes and felt my throat swell up. "We didn't want to tell Logan cause he looks like a he could lose his mind in a second and…I'm sorry." I glanced behind me to see Logan sitting down, getting a plate put in front of him. James was in my seat, occupying him and I groaned.

"What's the problem?"

"Well…why don't you just come with me?" I turned back to him and followed him out of the hall quick. He lead me all the way to the front doors and pushed them open. I saw a white van parked on the curb with two people inside. When they saw us standing out of the rain but looking out at them they jumped out and ran up to us, out of breath.

"We are so sorry about the mix up sir!" I raised my eyebrows and the lady glanced to Carlos who smiled at me and patted my shoulder.

"It seems there are a few parties going on today, and they are claiming the storm got them confused." I glared at him putting my hands on my hips and he pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. "They gave your cake to girls sweet 16. In the back of their van, you have a pink and purple sweet 16 cake for your wedding." My mouth dropped to the floor and I turned to the two cake delivers. The girls took her hood off and shook her head.

"We are so sorry! Our boss told us to offer you half price for the mistake…"

"Half price!?" I yelled down in her face and she made herself seem smaller then she already was. "You guys aren't getting paid at all! Take your cake and leave!"

"Kendall!" Carlos and I both turned to see Logan practically running down the hall, James in tow. I groaned and looked back at the two bakers, who looked up at me, horrified. "I am so sorry for my rude husband. We will take the cake, pay half and invite you two to stay and enjoy it with us on our blissful and happy day. I understand things get mixed up…" He got right in front of me and put a comforting hand on the girls shoulder. "Is there any way you guys could make it look more like for a wedding and not a sweet 16?" The guy perked up a bit and nodded.

"We can redo the fondant to just white, or whatever you want…" Logan nodded and sighed.

"Okay…well problem resolved. I appreciate you guys doing this even during the storm. Please take your time and help yourselves to whatever you might need." The two nodded and quickly went back outside. Logan turned, didn't look up at me and walked past fast. I groaned out loud and followed, James and Carlos right at my feet.

"Good way to start of your marriage buddy." I flipped off James over my shoulder and continued walking behind Logan who went right up to the table, smiled at my mom and dad who whispered something to him, and sat down picking up his fork and knife. I sat down as well and looked at the chicken and salad on my own plate but turned to look back at Logan. He was smiling out at the people in front of us, and I even saw a few little kids already on the dance floor dancing. I breathed out a shaky breath and looked back to my own food picking up my fork.

"What would you do without me?" I looked over at him fast and saw him staring at me, chewing a piece of his salmon. He grabbed his glass of wine and lifted it to his mouth but didn't drink any. "Seriously though?"

"Are you mad at me?" He chuckled and took a sip of his wine. I put my fork down and turned my body towards him. He put his glass down and also turned to me grabbing my hands.

"I don't think it's aloud. To be mad at your new husband on your wedding day." He sighed and raised an eyebrow leaning into me. Not close enough for my taste but whatever. "I think you could have handled the situation better, yes. But I have to come to terms with the fact that you, my dear sweet man, are a loose cannon when you think you're getting attacked. Its' a quality about you, that I absolutely adore." I smiled and moved in fast capturing his lips for a short kiss. He pushed away and gently patted my cheek. "Next time…let me handle it." We both turned back to our plates, him scooting his chair closer to mine and leaning into my side. I laughed and took a sip of my wine before picking my fork back up.

"It's not my fault Carlos and James separated us. I swear I think James just wants me to just fail in front of you or something…"

"Oh Jesus here we go again…" I nudged him gently and he chuckled kissing my cheek before going back to eating. We ate, whispered sweet nothings to each other for a little over 30 minutes with random people coming up to us, and whishing us well and happiness. I was actually getting pretty tired and it was only about 7 at night. However, when Logan stood up, drinking the last of his, count them, third glass of wine, and put out his hand my energy perked up. I smiled and took it, letting him lead me to the floor. The floor cleared and I saw the DJ smile while he started putting our song on. "You're kind of blurry." I pulled Logan up to my body tight and made him hold himself up on me.

"And you're kind of drunk. We still have to cut the cake handsome." I kissed his temple as our song started playing and I closed my eyes.

"You mean our sweet 16 cake?" I laughed and let Adele's voice make me sway the both of us. "I love this song so much."

"I know you do. I do to. And I Love you so much." He hummed in response to me and I kissed the top of his head. "Are you too drunk to enjoy our honeymoon tonight?" He stopped and looked up at me with hurt eyes. I looked away from him and stared at all the people watching.

"I know how to hold my wine jerk." I smiled and he kissed my neck. "When does our honeymoon start by the way?"

"Officially it starts as soon as we get in the back of the limo and were taken to the airport, where we get to sit and wait four hours to catch out plane." I looked back down to him and he frowned laying his head on my chest. I caught a few lines form the song and it made my heart ache.

"_I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue. I'd go crawling down the avenue. There is nothing that I wouldn't do, to make you feel my love." _

**SO THE SONG THEY DANCE TO IS TO MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE. IT'S A COVER SONG ADELE DID, BTU BECAUSE I LOVE THAT GIRL TO DEATH I USED HER VERSION INSTEAD. IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, THE ORIGINAL IS BY GARTH BROOKS. **

**ALSO…SAD NEWS. I BELIEVE THERE IS ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT OF THIS STORY. BTU THAT MEANS…A NEW KOGEN! I HAVE A FEW IDEAS FOR A NEW SOTRY BUT IF YOU HAVE NAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE OR READ RATHER LET ME KNOW!**

**AND ONE LAST THING. WHAT IS A BETA READER? PM ME…**


	21. Chapter 21: Happily Ever After

**Logan's P.O.V.**

I realize I must be being stared at. I also realize that most people here don't care. I was straddling Kendall's lap, facing him. My hands were folded in between us, and my head was resting on his shoulder. His arms were draped loosely around my back and he was talking and laughing with Carlos and a few of his other friends. My eyes were closed but I was not sleeping. I was tipsy, not drunk as he insisted, and I was extremely exhausted from the day. The worrying about something going wrong, the walking around in a storm trying to calm my nerves and then the pure excitement and the rush of adrenaline from it actually happening. It was a long day and all I wanted to do was cuddle up in bed with my hubby and fall into a deep coma. But no, of course I wasn't going to be able to do that because we had to wait four hours for our plane to paradise and airport seats aren't very comfortable. I sighed softly at the thought and turned my head pushing it into his neck and groaning quietly. I felt one of his hands travel up my back, slowly and gently, until he reached my hair and ran some fingers through it. "What's the matter?" I smiled and shook my head.

"Nothing Kendall. Just happy." He didn't respond so I yawned a little and finally listened to the sand man trying to lull me to sleep. But I didn't even get a second of sleep because I heard some chairs being pushed back and the sound made my eyes push open and my head lift up slightly. I sat up a little more seeing the guys who were talking to Kendall were getting up, on wobbly feet, and walking away laughing still. I raised my arms, stretched them over my head and yawned, again, closing my eyes. Kendall's hands left my back and moved up to my stomach. He started to kind of message my skin through my button up shirt still on before he moved them to my waist where he gripped. I put my arms down, resting my hands on his shoulders and opened my eyes staring down at him, smiling. He was smiling back at me. I started to lean down and when he caught on, he pushed up fast and kissed me hard. My hands moved up from his shoulders over the black button up shirt he was wearing, until they cradled his neck. I tilted my head slightly to get better access to his mouth and he moaned slightly when my tongue darted in and out of his own mouth. When he was kissing me, something clicked in my brain and I was hit with a burst of energy. I sat up a little and felt both of our groins rub against each other, making my energy coil into a rush of lust. My hands moved up to the back of his neck and pulled him deeper and harder into me. His fingertips dug deeper into my waist and for a split second the pain of his fingertips hurt. But just for that second. And in that second, I heard someone softly clear their throat. I pulled away fast turned my head to the left and blushed wildly. His parents, his little sister and Carlos and James, with a sleeping Toby in Carlos's arms were staring at us. I turned away from them fast, wiped my mouth and started getting off Kendall's lap. I heard him clear his throat as I stood up and brushed down my pants.

"Sorry to interrupt guys. We just wanted to give you two a present we all got for you, as a group." I turned, and looked at his mom as Kendall stood up. Jennifer looked up at Donald who smiled and reached in the front pocket of his white jacket. He brought out a white envelope that looked kind of thick and handed it over to Kendall. Kendall took it cautiously and glanced up at his family in front of us and raised an eyebrow. "Come on Kendall, Open it up. You too Logan." I smiled small and got right beside him, well beside/behind him and peered over his shoulder as he opened up the envelope. When he did he reached in he quickly pulled out a folded stack of paper. I took it from him as he reached in again. As I started to unfold it he brought out his hand again, to revel a wad of cash. I stopped what I was doing and turned to the people in front of us, fast. I saw James chuckle as he gently rubbed the back of Carlos's neck.

"The money is from the both of us. And Toby I guess." I was going to open my mouth and protest but Katie spoke first.

"Hey I put in a hundred." Kendall's shoulders fell glaring at his sister and I sighed again trying to protest. Again I was cut off. This time by Donald.

"Open up the papers Logan. The gifts kind of go hand in hand." I sighed, staring at him and put my head down opening up the papers. The first thing I saw on the paper was a Hotel name. Upon looking down the rest of the paper, I saw a reservation for two in the Honeymoon Suite, paid in full. I looked back up and Donald laughed. "The storm got us all to thinking. You guys shouldn't have to wait for your honeymoon, so we booked you the room for the night. Check out is at 5 tomorrow, which afterwards, Logan turn the page…" I did quickly and he continued. "You will be taken to the airport, will get on a private jet and be on your way to the island you guys had decided on, which you will spend two and a half weeks in paradise." As he spoke I saw the flight info, the time we would be landing, an itinerary, and a map of the island and a bunch of tourist information.

"You guys just paid for our entire honeymoon?" I looked up, trying to be as appalled as I could and Jennifer and Donald laughed, wrapping an arm around each other and starting to walk away.

"A thank you would suffice! See you guys when you get back." They were completely walking away already and I looked up to see Kendall smiling small at his parents shaking his head. I turned back to see James and Carlos holding back a fit of laughter. I narrowed my eyes at them and put the papers down at my side.

"We will make sure all your gifts get in your house. And when you come back well get together or something and hang out. See you guys then!" James wrapped an arm around Carlos's waist and pulled him towards the same way Kendall's parents left. I turned to Katie who smiled and shrugged her shoulders and quickly ran after the other two, running into James who pushed her softly, still holding onto Carlos. I noticed, a lot of the guests were leaving and I turned up to see Kendall looking down at me, a stupid half grin on his face. I crossed my arms over my chest and he chuckled, grabbing his coat from the back of his chair and throwing it over his shoulder. He then grabbed mine, and gently tugged on my sleeve on my arm. I sighed out, defeated and walked into him, letting him lead me out towards the exit. The doors were pushed open and we walked out. I was expecting to be hit with rain and harsh bitter wind, but all I got was the harsh bitter wind. It wasn't raining anymore, but it still wasn't pleasant weather. It gave me an excuse to cling onto Kendall as he walked me to the limo that was waiting for us. He let me get in first and as I sat down I noticed a bouquet of flowers in the seat up by the driver and I smiled seeing a little note attached. I reached for it quick hearing Kendall get in and shut the door hard and yanked the note off. I fell back on the seat, practically on top of Kendall's lap and sighed opening the note.

"_To our best friends and the only two people who would have a wedding, during a mini hurricane. Be safe. ;)" _I sighed seeing James handwriting and went to put the note on the seat beside me, when I felt something on the back. I turned it and grinned turning up at Kendall. His eyes widened and reached out for the condom taped to the back of the note.

"Extra Magnum? Did you tell James I was big?" I nodded lifting his arm and snuggling into his side. "Well this is definitely going to be used…" He smoothly ripped it off the back of the card and I heard the engine purr. I laid my head on his chest and put my hand on his stomach and slowly moved it down to the crotch of his pants. "What you can't wait 10 minutes tell we get to the room?"

I couldn't wait. The drive was painfully slow because I kept thinking about the condom in his pocket which got me to thinking about what the condom was going on and it was an endless cycle of arousal and lust. When the limo stopped he had to drag me out of it and hold my hand loosely just so I wouldn't start jacking him off in the lobby. He walked us up to the front desk and talked to the lady behind the desk who nodded and smiled a lot at us, while she put in all our information. I was becoming more and more frustrated and he was acting like he didn't even care. When I saw the two gold room key cards slide across the counter top I reached for them quick and pulled on his arm roughly, towards the elevator. I heard him say thank you, and have a good night to lady but I just didn't care. I jammed on the button to go up and tapped my foot, trying to show how impatient and horny I actually was. I heard him giggle beside me, but didn't turn to him in fear I would cum in my pants right there. When the doors dinged open I pushed us in and again jammed the button for the 28th floor. The doors slid closed and as soon as they did I lost my will power and looked over at him. He was still holding onto my hand but his head was back, small smile on his face, and eyes closed, while he leaned up against the back wall. I turned back to the front and watched the numbers go higher and higher until it stopped right on the 28th floor. As soon as those doors dinged open, I was running out, Kendall still holding my hand all the way to the end of the hall. I slid a key into the slot, go the green light and pushed the doors opened.

I never thought something could get my mind of Kendall and having sex but the room was absolutely stunning. It was huge, like it was its own house. I let his hand drop form mine as I walked to, what I assumed to be French doors leading out onto a balcony. I pushed back the curtains and the blinds and gasped out. Our view was of the beach. I know, I live by it, I live on it, but this view was up higher, and the moon was placed perfectly over the black sea, with a shining reflection on the glass water top. I smiled and closed my eyes, inhaling the salty air. Without making any noise, I felt Kendall's hands slid onto my waist and his lips pressed into my neck. "Hey…it's still windy out there…" I opened my eyes feeling the wind whip my face and put my hand son his.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything my love…" I turned fast and stared up into his eyes. I set my hands on his chest and without glancing at them, my fingers started working the buttons on the shirt.

"If I wanted to…maybe…try something new in…bed, would you be opened minded?" He scrunched his eyebrows and his fingers wrapped around the belt loop of my pants and tugged me forward. "Would you trust me enough?"

"I trust you with my life Logan." I smiled got on my tippy toes and kissed his nose.

"Good…" I moved my kiss down to his chin and closed my eyes. "Get naked, and get on the bed." He laughed let me go and turned, undoing the bow around his neck.

"That's not anything new handsome." I smiled, took off my own bow and walked behind him while he kicked off his shoes. His bow tie fell to the floor along with his shirt. His bare back came into view and I licked my lips with anticipation. He turned and undid his belt, undid his pants and let them fall tot eh floor. He stepped out of them, kicked them to the side and got on the bed. Folding his hands together and staring up at me. I pulled my shirt off and shook my head.

"I thought I said get naked?" He raised his eyebrows, stood up slowly and hooked his fingers in the elastic and pushed them down. When they were kicked to the side he sat back down and swallowed hard. I let my own pants fall along with my boxers and walked into him. I gripped his shoulders, and got on top of him letting both our hard dicks rub together. I put my head back and moaned at the amazing friction. I felt his lips on my neck and I opened my eyes while he started sucking on my skin. "I want you to…to make love to me, with no lights on, no music on, no candles lit, no roses laid out around the room, and I want you to make love to me, out on that balcony." His lips stopped on my skin and I smiled putting my head back down and running my hands up through his hair in the front, feeling the gel and hairspray failing at its job. I bit my bottom lip as his hands moved to the back of my thighs lifted me slightly, making me wrap my legs around his body. He stood up fast, and I gripped him tight and suddenly. He looked down, reached for the top most blanket on the bed and pulled it roughly. When it came free he gently set me on the bed and almost ran to the balcony setting the blanket down on it. He ran back in towards the front door and I had to laugh out loud seeing how excited he was. He flipped the lights off and ran back over to me, bent down searched through his pants pockets, pulled out the condom and straightened back out. He put out a hand for me and I took it, letting him no run me out onto the balcony. His lips once again found my neck as he gently kneeled us down making sure both of us were comfortable. When he had me on my back, my legs outside his body bent upward, he tore open the condom and pulled it out. He tossed the wrapper to the side, slid the condom on his rock hard dick and put one hand outside my head while the other moved down to my entrance. I closed my eyes feeling the wind picking up again and moaned out when one of his fingers pushed all the way in. I arched my back and searched with my hands for his body. When my fingertips found his thighs and dug into him and gasped slightly feeling not one more, but two more fingers pushing in. I dug in harder and opened my eyes seeing him staring down at me, with only love in his eyes. "Just go baby…" He laughed, closed his eyes, pulled out his fingers, and quickly positioned himself at my hole. Without being slow or easy he pushed into me, and we both moaned out at the same time. I grabbed behind his neck and pulled him down to me and we pushed our lips together. My legs automatically went up around his waist, to give me more room and a better angle. His hips snapped softly and he pulled out only to push back in. I pulled away from the kiss turned my head and moaned out. The movement of his hips, were making his thrust spot on, hitting my prostate and I didn't realize how close I was too cumming until it was too late. I squeezed my eyes shut, and tugged on his hair on the back of his head, while I spewed out onto my stomach. My scream was probably ear shattering, but I didn't care because he kept going in and out, slowly picking up the speed. I opened up my eyes laid back dropping my hands from his head and breathing in hard. He lifted his body pulled me along with him so I was practically sitting on his lap, but still lying flat on my back. He grabbed my hips and but his head back breathing out hard through his nose. I ran my fingers through my own hair, just as I felt a few rain drops hit my body. I looked straight up at the black sky and blinked when more rain came down hitting my face. In a blink of an eye it was a full on rain storm, lighting, thunder and all. I shivered quickly and glanced back to Kendall., His eyes were closed and he was furiously thrusting in me hard still. "Babe…we need to get inside." I put my hand son his but he didn't move to get up, just continued to fuck me. "Baby were going to get sick…ooh fuck…" I closed feeling my dick harden again, and the cum wash off my body with the rain pouring down. I have heard kissing in the rain is amazing, but having sex, making love in the rain, is the best. It was like Kendall didn't notice, or maybe he just didn't care. Whatever the reason he continued to hit hard into me, and while I could I stroked myself, slowly, waiting for him to cum with me this time. And I knew exactly when he was close, because he pulled out of me, ripped the condom off his dick and bent over me, holding himself up with one hand while the other stroked himself. He grunted and groaned and in less than 10 seconds, he was cumming hard all over my stomach and chest. That did it for me, and I let go as well. I let my eyes close, loving the rain hitting my body and hearing him breathing hard over me as well. It really relaxed me, and made me close to falling asleep.

"Jesus Loges…you're shivering." I opened my eyes slowly, halfway to keep the rain out of my eyes and smiled up at him. He set my legs down off his body and sighed sitting up straight. "Come on baby…your freezing." He stood, grabbing both my hands, and lifting me as well. He put me inside fast and I walked right to the huge bathroom where I grabbed a robe sitting on the counter and wrapped it around me fast. "I'm sorry. We should have gone inside. You look so cold." He walked in behind me and I watched him gently put a towel around my shoulders. He turned me slightly and started rubbing my shoulders to warm them. I smiled and shook my head.

"It's okay. I don't mind. It was romantic and the perfect love making session. However…" He raised an eyebrow and I yawned, making him laugh. "I would love to go to sleep." He nodded and continued dry me before he tossed the towel on the ground and led em tot eh bed.

"I'm going to call room service, order some food, because I'm hungry and not tired, and get a few extra blankets and a new one for the bed and then you can go bed."

"You aren't going to sleep with me?" He laughed and dropped the towel from around his waist and walked to the bags of ours I assumed James and Carlos backed for us and grabbed a pair of sweats, pulling them on.

"I'm actually wide awake and I don't think I could fall asleep, especially if I had the chance to watch you sleep." I smiled and nodded stretching my legs out from my body. "So…are you ready to start the rest of our lives?" I watched him walk to the side table by the bed, looking at a book of hotel amenities looking for the hotel room service. I smiled, watched him grab the phone dial a number and turn to me. He chuckled, and put his free hand on his hip. "Why aren't you answering me?" I laughed stood up, disrobed and jumped on the bed, getting on my back and closing my eyes feeling the soft and warmness of the pillows and the bed underneath me.

"Of course I'm ready to start the rest of our lives together but…" I yawned rolled on my side, facing him and shrugged my shoulders. "We technically did the minute we met. This is just an awesome stepping stone." I heard him chuckle and I sighed opening my eyes. "Can you get me a cherry coke, and some fries?"

"Are you going to be awake?" We locked eyes and I nodded.

"I can't sleep without you handsome." He chuckled and perked up hearing someone on the other end. "Kendall?"

"Uhm yes can you send up like…4 extra blankets? Honeymoon suite yes…okay thank you. 5 minutes is fine. Thanks." He hung up fast and turned to me. "Yes dear?" He leaned on the bed by his hands and got close to my face. I smiled raised a hand, dragged it up his arm and sighed.

"I love you." I put my arm back down and let my eyes close. I felt the bed dip and he quickly kissed onto my forehead before sitting up and picking the phone back up.

"I love you too Logan." I smiled and felt my mind slowly dip into blackness hearing his soft voice. "I'll see you in the morning, so we can continue the rest of our lives happily together…"

**Phew! That was long! But I loved it! I loved how this turned out, but I would still love your inputs. And with this story done, I'm looking for new ideas for a Kogen so let me know if your beautiful minds have any thoughts running around!**


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